My Top 10 Books

Hello fellow Otaku & Metalheads, and welcome to my 5th top 10 list!

This time around, I wanted to show all of you my top 10 favorite books. This one was a bit of a challenge compared to the others: it wasn’t because of what was going to be on the list, cause I knew immediately what was going to be on here (With maybe 1 or 2 exceptions). What was going to be a challenge was how I would present them. Unlike the others top 10 lists, there’s really no way I can show you a book. Instead, I’ve got quotes from the books in question to show, as they’ll give you a glimpse as to what’s contained within. Since I got my 2014 posts revised, I wanted to give you all a little content before I went & fixed up last year’s posts (That will take a bit). With that said, here are my top 10 books of all time. Enjoy!

10) Harry Potter Franchise
“Nearly ten years had passed since the Dursleys had woken up to find their nephew on the front step, but Privet Drive had hardly changed at all. The sun rose on the same tidy front gardens and lit up the brass number four on the Dursleys' front door; it crept into their living room, which was almost exactly the same as it had been on the night when Mr. Dursley had seen that fateful news report about the owls. Only the photographs on the mantelpiece really showed how much time had passed. Ten years ago, there had been lots of pictures of what looked like a large pink beach ball wearing different-colored bonnets - but Dudley Dursley was no longer a baby, and now the photographs showed a large blond boy riding his first bicycle, on a carousel at the fair, playing a computer game with his father, being hugged and kissed by his mother. The room held no sign at all that another boy lived in the house, too.”

I think it’s a safe bet to say that just about anybody from my generation (And maybe some individuals from the previous generation) has read the Harry Potter books, or has at least heard of them. Hell, not only did I read the books, but my friends, my parents, and even my friend Isabelle that I work for on-and-off reads Harry Potter....and she’s 81!

There’s definitely some kind of magic in this series. Not the “Teaches Kids Magic” BS that the Conservative Christians (Not the nice ones, btw) talk about, but the magic of reading. This was a book that continued to help me with my reading skills, and once that was over with, I continued to read the series, simply because of how engrossing the story & characters were. J.K. Rowling created a really unique series within the world of Harry Potter. One of which where young readers aren’t talked down to or assumed to be idiots, and one where younger people learn from adults, and adults can sometimes learn from the young people. Not many kids books today can even hope to obtain a glimmer of what made Harry Potter successful, and I definitely recommend it.

9) A Million Little Bricks
“As the LEGO Group has passed from one generation to the next, so have it’s toys. Plastic boxes filled with bricks stored away for years are dug out for children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews or for oneself-as if instinctively we know never to throw them away. And why would we? The quality pf Lego toys is clear; any child no matter his age or abilities can enjoy them, and they’re as relevant today as ever-no matter what crazes kids are into, the LEGO brick never goes out of fashion.”

While I’m almost 30 years old, one thing that I still like now as much when I was young is Legos. I absolutely love them. There’s still some cools sets out there I love to pick up, and to build them. I certainly don’t play with them, but they make for great desk decorations. So it was a big surprise when I saw a book at my friend Isabelle’s house one day (She was going to give to a friend for a 2012 Christmas gift), and it immediately grabbed my childhood wonder.

The actual title of this book is A Million Little Bricks: The Unofficial Illustrated History of the LEGO Phenomenon. It’s a really interesting read, filled with facts about the past history of the Lego Group. On top of that, there’s plenty of pictures within the pages, including the old woodcutting equipment that they first used, all the way to the plastic & robotics that they use now. It was also a treat to see what sets that I had when I was younger, and the sets that I never got. If you want to know more about one of the biggest toy companies in the world, then this is certainly your best option.

8) Good Eats: The Early/Middle/Later Years
“One Day, back in the summer of 1992, I decided I wanted to make a television food show. I wasn’t going to let the fact that I was little more than a hobbyist cook get in the way. The odyssey that followed became the program Good Eats, which has managed to hold its own on the Food Network for over a decade. (It even won a Peabody Award, which is a pretty big deal.)”

While I don’t cook a lot in my household, I’m certainly interested in the science of how we cook our food. If you’ve looked at my Top 10 Movies & TV Shows post, you’ll certainly remember that the Good Eats TV show got to number 5 on the TV portion of the list, and these books certainly don’t disappoint. Each book shows off recipes from a point in the show’s history (Early Years = First Seasons of the Show, Middle for the middle seasons, and Later for...you know), listing off facts, background information, and plenty of things that the viewers of the show may not know about. And then there’s the recipes, or applications, as Alton Brown calls them. They’re very good dishes, with cooking methods just as varied as the recipes themselves. The reason why these three books aren’t higher on the list is because that there are recipes that are either altered in some way, or not put into the book altogether. If every single unaltered dish was put into each of the books, I would have put these a little further down the list. They’re still good to read though, and there’s facts worth remembering.

7) Dungeons & Dragons: Player’s Handbook (3rd Edition)
“When you play the Dungeons & Dragons game, you create a unique fictional character that lives in your imagination and the imaginations of your friends. One person in the game, the Dungeon Master (DM), controls the monsters and people that live in the fantasy world. You and your friends face the dangers and explore the mysteries that your Dungeon Master sets before you.”

It’s been quite a while since I played Dungeons & Dragons. With where I live, I’m not near anyone that knows how to play (Although I knew people who knew about D&D near where I lived). It was actually my Mother that introduced me to the game, since she played it way back when first/second edition was around. Anyways, back when I had my 14th birthday, the first book I got was the Player’s Handbook not long after 3rd Edition came out. Now I had played RPGs before, but they were typically on the computer. Dungeons & Dragons marked the first time I ever played a Pen-and-Paper role-playing game.

As for the book, I have to say that it’s still fun to read. True, 3rd Edition (And to a lesser extent, 3.5 Edition) has been overshadowed by 4th & 5th Edition from Wizards of the Coast, and Pathfinder from Paizo Publishing (Ironically, Paizo Publishing also put out two of my favorite magazines, Dragon, and Dungeon), but there are still some interesting ideas withing some of the mechanics. It might be hard to find 3rd Edition & 3.5 Edition books these days, but if you’re looking for them, make the Player’s Handbook the first one you read!

6) Shogun: Volumes 1 & 2
“The gale tore at him and he felt it’s bite deep within and he knew that if they did not make landfall in three days they would all be dead. Too many deaths on this voyage, he thought, I’m Pilot-Major of a dead fleet. One ship left out of five-eight and twenty men from a crew of one hundred and seven and now only ten can walk and the rest near death and out Captain-General one of them. No food, almost no water and what there is, brackish and foul.”

I’m usually not a fan of serious novels (Ironic, given how serious Harry Potter could get). The main reason being that when things got too serious, it ruined whatever experience I had. Shogun marked one of the few times that I enjoyed a serious novel, not to mention serious situations. It also doesn’t help the fact that this series takes place during the height of Japan’s late medieval empire, where the various warlords were fighting for control of the land, and the Portugese/Dutch/English were trying to gain religions, political, and trade influence within the country. It also doesn’t help the fact that I’m somewhat of a Japanophile, and some of my friends are also.

Anyways, the reason why Shogun made it so high on the list is because so much of it is based off of actual events. Taking place a couple months before the iconic “Battle of Sekigahara”, many of the characters are based off of real-life people. The daimyo Toranaga is based on the real ruler Tokugawa Ieyasu, and the heroics of John Blackthorne are based off of the exploits of English sailor William Adams. These real life events & figures create for a great read, and it is one that you should never miss!

5) Ministry: The Lost Gospels According To Al Jourgensen & Soul On Fire: The Peter Steele Biography

“You know you’re in trouble when you try to say goodbye to your wife and all you can do is gargle blood. I was dying. Well, that was nothing new. I’d tempted fate for more than four decades. I’ve had kidney failure; liver failure; hepatitis A, B, and C; and I tried to invent D, but all the doctors I saw were too dumb to grasp my creativity. I lost a toe, all my teeth, and nearly an arm, and I’d overdosed on heroin twice and had to be resuscitated.”
&
“Pass the wing jug around wherever you are, Peter. Whoever is in your circle of friends and family now loves you like the rest of us among the living do. We’re all with you, man, laughing and crying and triumphing right along with you.”

I’ve definitely read my share of biographies. Movie stars, musicians, wrestlers, and politicians are just some of the figures I’ve read in these kinds of books. While I’ve definitely enjoyed some of these biographies, the bio written by Ministry’s legendary frontman Al Jourgensen was the first that I immediately loved. Not enjoyed, but loved!

The stories contained in the lost gospels are nothing short of shocking. You’ve definitely heard stories about Al Jourgensen, but this book is the definite story of one of the most crude, rude, angry, yet utterly kind & brilliant singers in metal history. From his birth, to his most recent (2012/2013) past, you see just about every facet of this man’s life. These stories are so out there, so shocking, that it’s far to hard to not believe them, and it’s this shock value that keeps me addicted to the pages within.

The same can be said for Soul On Fire, the biography on Type-O Negative’s frontman Pete Steele. Sadly, it was not written by Mr Steele (Since he’s been dead since 2010), but his dark & gothic essence is infused into each & every word. Jeff Wagner’s writing is very good, and if Pete Steele couldn’t write his life, then a diehard fan of Type-O Negative is the next best thing. Filled with pictures from all through out Pete’s life, stories, words of wisdom from his friends & family, and interesting facts round out a fantastic read. Even if you’ve never listened to anything from this band, it is worth grabbing just for a look into one of Heavy Metal’s most colorful figures.

4) Dante’s Inferno
“he had three faces: one in front bloodred;
and then another two that, just above
the midpoint of each shoulder, joined the first;
and at the crown, all three were reattached;
the right looked somewhat yellow, somewhat white;
the left in its appearance was like those
who come from where the Nile, descending, flows”

Classic literature isn’t necessarily my forte. It’s not that I have read any classic books, cause a part of my library is made up of some famous novels. It’s just that I’m not necessarily a fan of fancy things, but just like horror there are always exceptions.

My acquisition of Dante’s Inferno is kind of a funny story. Way back in 2005, an at the time friend and I were watching a documentary on the History Channel about the history of Hell. From it’s religious origins, to it’s implementation in Christianity & pop culture, there was a wealth of information that I didn’t know about. At one point, the documentary went into detail about Dante’s Inferno, and the equally famous author, Dante Alighieri. It was so fascinating to me, that I wanted to get a copy of this book, and sure enough, my Mom grabbed one for me just a couple weeks later.

If there was any complaint, it would be in it’s writing. Alighieri opted for a poetic style of writing, so the story is played out like a poem. It can be very confusing if you’re not used to poetry, but if you read through it a couple times, then you’ll eventually be able to understand how he does things. Even if you can understand Alighieri’s way of writing, the imagery he conjures up is nothing short of impressive. From the river Styx where the wrathful thrash around, to the frozen lake Cocytus (Greek Spelling: Kokytos) where the traitors are frozen for all eternity, the imagery of Hell is somehow both nightmarish yet oddly beautiful. A book to entertain, and educate.

3) The Nazi Occult War: Hitler’s Compact With The Forces Of Evil
“Adolf Hitler’s impact on the world is unprecedented and unparalleled. In the twelve short years he left an indelible impact on history and the consequences of many of his actions continue to affect the world today. Even during his lifetime he was as much a myth as a human being and with the increasing distance of years his figure still fascinates to a unique degree; if anything he has become even more like a cartoon villain than a real individual.”

One of the things that disappoints me is how World War 2 is nowhere nearly as taught in schools as it once was. It was by far one of the most important periods in our world’s history: both the best of humanity, and the worst of humanity, came out of the woodwork to leave their mark on the world (For better or worse). The subject has become increasingly important to me in recent years, as I’ve becomes friends with many WW2 veterans (One of which was a Japanese P.O.W., and became my adopted Grandmother. Another was a woman who lived in Berlin during the length of the war, but sadly she’s no longer here), and became acquaintances with many more.
                                               
With this book, you read about a side of the war that’s rarely if ever seen in the history classes. Inside The Nazi Occult War, you learn about the Nazi’s reliance & obsession with their pagan past, not to mention occult forces both obscure & well known in mythology. The Nazi ideology becomes more terrifying once who read about it’s arcane aspect, infused with heavy amounts of sexism, racism, and plain ignorance of history that conflict with their interests. It’s all the more horrific when you realize that they might have been onto something, and it’s only because of their own stupidity that they failed. If you want to read about a more obscure piece of history, you’ll want to pick this book up.

2) Louder Than Hell: The Definitive Oral History of Metal
“I was eight years old, sitting in my uncle’s bedroom at my grandparents’ house, going through his vinyl. I pulled out the first Black Sabbath record. There’s woods and a witch, and I’m a little kid looking at this going, “What is this? This is scary.” And my uncle goes, “That’s Black Sabbath. They’re acid rock.” I’m like, “What’s acid rock?””

An absolute blast of a read! I found out about this book around the spring/early-summer of 2014, and thus marks it as the most recent item on this list. Part entertainment & part history, this book is perfect for any fan of Heavy Metal, or even music fans in general. Spanning decades, Louder Than Hell delves into the original of metal, the metal of old, and the current incarnations of metal, the book also covers the history of the more classic sub-genres, like Thrash or Death Metal. Once again, read this book!

Before we get to my number 1 Book, I wanted to give you some of my Honorable Mentions in this category. Books that, while very enjoyable, just didn’t make the cut. Maybe it’s because of the book’s reputation, my emotions when I’m reading it, or whatever other reason comes to mind. With that said, here they are:

HM1) The Frugal Gourmet Celebrates Christmas
“How do you thank and recognize those who have made your memories of Christmases past? I think of my old boy Scout troop, Troop 126, and Bert Hobbes, our scoutmaster. Every year we sold hundreds of Christmas trees, and it was a real operation. The kids in the troop who had little money traveled with us on all camping trips for the whol year, all from Christmas tree sales.”
- Iiiiiiiiiiiii was a little hesitant to put this book in this post, much less in this portion. Considering that Jeff Smith was charged with sexual abuse in 1997, putting something from a supposed child molester on here made me a little nervous (The abuse allegations effectively killed his television career, although he continued his writing & charity work for a little longer afterwards). What ultimately convinced me to put this book here was it’s content: equal parts history, family memories, and fantastic recipes, The Frugal Gourmet Celebrates Christmas is a cookbook that people who like to make stuff around the holidays. Just be sure you’re comfortable with the stigma.

HM2) Undisputed: How to Become the World Champion in 1,372 Easy Steps
“I had been prepping my return to the WWE for three months and it didn’t seem like it had been two years since I was gone. It didn’t seem like eight years since I’d debuted their either. It felt like only yesterday that I was standing in the gorilla position at the All-State arena in Chicago, as the clocked ticked down to zero...”
- As I was saying when I was talking about Al Jourgensen & Pete Steele’s books, most other autobiographies seem bogus to me. Going back to my love of wrestling, Undisputed: How to Become the World Champion in 1,372 Easy Steps is simultaneously entertaining yet pathetic. For starters, Chris Jericho happened to write this book. If you’ve even had passing glances at WWE, chances are you’ve seen Chris Jericho at least once or twice. He’s always been one of those wrestlers who’s not afraid to speak what he believes in, despite any danger to his career. He’s written quite the colorful novel, detailing a good majority of his career. Where the pathetic nature comes in is the politics of WWE: stories have been swirling around for years about the kind of things that the company have done, and some pretty damning stuff can be found here. If you interested in one of wrestling’s more colorful individuals, you can’t do anything wrong when you buy this.

HM3) Howard Stern’s Private Parts
“You wake up in the morning. You eat a little breakfast, maybe read the newspaper. If you’re lucky enough, you’re married. You yell at your wife, you make up with your wife. If your testicles feel all right, you bang your wife. You watch a video you rented or maybe you go out to the movies. The secret of life is so simple. That’s life. If you have kids, you live with the kids. You don’t move out on your wife. You stay with her even if you’ve banged her nine thousand times and you’re sick of it. Nobody follows that. That’s the secret to life.”
- I wasn’t sure whether or not to put this here. This was definitely making this list, but it certainly wasn’t getting onto the top 10. The reason is quite simple: Howard Stern is a dick! There’s definitely been some individuals I’ve encountered in my time on this Earth (Both personally & long-distance), but Mr. Stern is definitely one of the most offensive. Some of his opinions are based on half-truths, while others are the essence of spite, ignorance, and hate. Yet, I have to give Howard some respect. Sure, he’s highly venomous when he speaks, but he certainly isn’t afraid of the consequences. He’s a man who clearly isn’t afraid of anybody & anything, and will fight to the death to speak what he wants. This attitude is what gets Howard Stern’s Private Parts into my Honorable Mentions mini-list, but only just.

1) Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day & The Polar Express
“My bath was too hot, I got soap in my eyes, my marble went down the drain, and I had to wear my railroad-train pajamas. I hate my railroad-train pajamas”
&
“On Christmas Eve, many years ago, I lay quietly in my bed. I did not rustle the sheets. I breathed slowly and silently. I was listening for a sound-a sound a friend had told me I’d never hear-the ringing bells of Santa’s sleigh.”

It’s bizarre that I’m concluding this list with children’s books. I’m nearly 30 years old, and you’d expect a more mature read to take up this spot. What gets these children’s classics up to my number 1 is because of two things: these were the first, if not two of the first, books I’ve ever read. Secondly, these books have some of the most effective messages for kids that’s ever been written.

Basically, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day is about the experiences of one of the author’s sons. To sum things up, the kid goes through the kind of Hell that kids around his age: getting picked on by his brothers, getting in trouble at school and his dad’s job, and all other sorts of bad things. It gets so bad, the son wants to move to Australia to get away from it all. But right at the end, the mother comes to him, and basically says that “Everybody has bad days, even for people who live in Australia.” Just that one sentence makes me remember the entire book, and somehow, someway, I still hold onto the simple lessons it taught me when I was that age.

The Polar Express is a good companion to Alexander. A story about the power of Christmas, it details one boy’s journey (Along with many other children) to the North Pole, all through the power of the steam train known as the Polar Express (Hence the name of the book). The trip is marvelous, and it all culminates in a stop at Santa’s city, with the boy getting a silver bell from one of the reindeer that pulls Santa’s sleigh. On his way home he discovers that he lost the bell, but is helpless. Fortunately, he gets it back on Christmas Day, but his parents (And eventually his sister Sarah) could no longer hear the pristine sound it makes. However, as it says in the book: “Though I’ve grown old, the bell still rings for me as it does for all who truly believe.”

No greater words have ever been spoken in a children’s book. Ever!

So this was my top 10 books. This was one of the more challenging of my top 10 lists, but I was happy to do it! Come back early next month, when we’ll start things off with a metal overview that’s a little........Nu, perhaps?