So, uh, we’re somehow still standing everybody. Sure, the cheeto is now back in power, and has molested the country in a few ways that would make a pimp crap themselves, and there’s now the thought that he’ll screw things up so bad we might not be here in the future, but we are all here right NOW. In an effort to somehow infuse all of us with some kind of positivity, today’s review might be the start of that! As you can tell, I’m taking a revised look at Curse Of The Crystal Coconut, which I looked at once before back in 2020 during the final portion of my 2nd Power Metal Pandemoniun. Time has changed in the near 5 years since then, but has my opinion on the record changed? Well, find a bottle of the strongest rum, sharpen your cutlass, and take a look at my revised review of Alestorm’s 2020 release, Curse Of The Crystal Coconut. Let’s begin!
Background
Taken from my original review:
“As the years went on for Alestorm, their musical craftsmanship improved from album to album. From Captain Morgan’s Revenge to No Grave But The Sea, there was a clear advancement and evolution of the band’s musical talent & taste. However, this crew of musical scallywags didn’t rest on their treasure chests and rum barrels, and so they decided to set out on another musical voyage. On the 8th of January, 2020, our boys from Scotland would reveal the name of their new adventure, and on the 29th of May within the same year, Curse Of The Crystal Coconut would be released to us cutthroats and drunkards in such a plagued time. The album was received very well across the board: while there were some that gave it a more neutral rating, the consciences seems to be that the album is a worthy addition to Alestorm’s musical treasure horde.”
Basic Description
Silly pirate fun!
I spoke of it in 2020, but I said in my original review that I really appreciated the good hearted humor of Curse Of The Crystal Coconut. Back then I said I loved it because it helped make that plague-ridden time easier to go through, and to a certain extent that’s what the record is going to be doing this year. Even taking a brief mention of politics out of the picture, Alestorm are top to bottom going down the goofy road hard, and it doesn’t let up at any point.
Best Track
I said it back in 2020, and I’ll say it again here, but the duo of Treasure Chest Party Quest & Tortuga still slaps! These two songs are practically night & day, as the former is basically a rap song gone metal, and the later is a metal song gone rap. Regardless of which style they pursue, both tracks have plenty of quality instrumentation & vocal work, not to mention plenty of Alestorm’s modern humor. This is especially evident in the music videos for both tunes, as they don’t let up with all of the comedy, memes, and even the trolling I originally talked about back in 2020. There’s plenty of other good songs, but you can’t skip these two at all!
Treasure Chest Party Quest
Tortuga
Worst Track
I said back in the original review that the only real fault lies with the band’s seemingly excessive trolling on this record. In hindsight, I’m not exactly sure why I said that, save for maybe some of the lyrics in a few of the songs. However, one thing I will say this time around is Alestorm’s seemingly over-correction of their prior vibes. While they were never 100% serious on most of their older work, they did seem to strike something of a balance between having fun & having some bite. But on the prior 2 releases, they seemed to move away from almost all of the seriousness that their starting material had, and completely braced the comedic aspect overtime. To play devil’s advocate, Christopher Bowes did say in interviews that he & the rest of the band didn’t want to be like groups that took the style more seriously, and I respect them for that. Even so, they went too far in the comedy direction, and that’s pretty overwhelming for some.
Other
If you’re curious about listening to this album, then click on the link below:
Curse Of The Crystal Coconut
Also, I should make a mention of the racism & abuse accusations that spawned back in 2021. More specifically, the accusations & allegations with Gloryhammer & Chris Bowes. Without getting into massive detail, singer Thomas Winkler had be fired from the band for reasons I believe are still unknown to this day. Not long after, it was rumored that bassist James Cartwright allegedly abused a former partner, and not long after that a series of leaked group chat conversations came out, with members of the band using some really awful racial & sexist language. I won’t get into it here any further, but the link below will provide more of the sordid details.
Alleged Leaked Chats Show Gloryhammer Are Misogynists + Obscene Racists (Loudwire)
Overall Impression & Rating
Curse Of The Crystal Coconut is still fun even now. Sure, it’s a giant correction from their oldest material, and the racism//sexism charges did sully the band’s reputation for a bit, but at the same time it’s hard to not smile when you’re listening to this record. If you’re up for some absurd fun on the high seas, then this is the album for you!
Curse Of The Crystal Coconut still gets a 9 out of 10.
And that was my revised review for Curse Of The Crystal Coconut. I liked it back in 2020, and I still like it now. Faults aside, Alestorm still manage to have a hold on their fans, and I hope that one day their issues are completely scrubbed clean in time. Well, I got my no. 5 reviews done, and now it’s time to go onto number 4. See you all in February, and see you all in a day or two for a look at the first MTG set of 2020. Until then, take care!
***
If you’d like to read my original review of this album, click on the link below:
Album Review: Curse Of The Crystal Coconut (Original)
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