Album Review - Darkthrone's Soulside Journey

Welcome back to the world of Death Metal, fellow Otaku & Metal Heads!

Ah Death Metal, how much I like thee. I’ll fully admit I’m still not the biggest fan of the genre. The vocal style can be grating at times, and the instrumentation sometimes comes across as grating & primitive, but there’s a wealth of bands that rise above & provide some great music. As I said in my last album review, Septicflesh’s 2014 offering Titan, I’ve finally grown on the genre. Today’s album, however, might push people away from Death Metal. An album from a band that became famous later in life, but started out in a weird rut. So, bathe in the blood of the innocent, and get ready for my review of Darkthrone’s first outing, Soulside Journey. Let the review begin!

Background
It’s hard to believe for some, but the first out of Darkthrone, a band that would help shape & create Black Metal in Norway, first put out a Death Metal album. Such was the case with Soulside Journey: recorded in September of 1990 at Sunlight Studios in Stockholm (Sweden), and released in January of 1991, Soulside Journey was a release put out at an interesting time. In the early 90s, Norway was doing everything it could to shed off it’s Hair & Death Metal past, and desired to walk down a darker path.

However, Dag Nilsen, the bass guitarist, was firmly committed to staying the Death Metal course. The other 3 band members (Fenriz: Drums/Zephyrous: Rhythm Guitar/Nocturno Culto: Lead Guitar & Vocals) didn’t like the state in which they were in, and wanted to break out of the Death Metal mold to do something different. The 3 would eventually get their desire, but that’s...for another day.  

Basic Description
Huh. I didn’t expect this!

I’m a bit surprised by this album. Given Darkthrone’s reputation (Well, their reputation in the 90s at least) as one of Norway’s most iconic Black Metal bands, their first outing was rather Meh. It’s not that it’s bland, because there are moments of decency. There’s some great guitar playing throughout Soulside Journey, as it come across as heavy & intense. The drumming is nice & fast, and even the vocal work on here is good, although 90s-style Death Metal vocals often sounds the same. The problem is goal & direction: Dag Nilsen wanted to keep going along with the Death Metal trend, since it was quite popular in Norway at the time. Fenriz, Zephyrous, and Nocturno Culto were actually against this. These three wanted to break away from Death Metal, and wanted to embrace the extremely budding genre of Black Metal.

This ultimately creates a bipolar album & listening experience. On the one hand it was constructed well, and the production was good for it’s time, but at the same time there are two clashing ideologies within Soulside Journey. Said ideologies create a confusing atmosphere on this record, and it hasn’t gotten better with time.

Best Song
Accumulation Of Generalization is about the only song on Soulside Journey that I even have a remote interest in listening to. The guitar work in this song is actually pretty damn strong, as it come at you in an even pace, and the drum work complements the guitars rather nicely. There’s also a portion where sound effects come into play, and while a tiny bit hokey, honestly do add a little to the atmosphere of the song.

Accumulation Of Generalization

That said, I ultimately can’t pick out a best song for Soulside Journey. Everything on this album comes across as the same, more or less. There may be variation in terms of instrumentation (Along with lyrics, perhaps sound effects), but in the end it’s kind of hard to pick out what’s what.

Worst Song
Just as there’s no real best song on Soulside Journey, there really isn’t a single song on here that can be considered the worst. What I said above can plainly be put here: all of the music on here sounds almost the same across the board. Despite some small changes in instrumentation, sound effects & lyrics, you can’t truly tell one song apart from another.

Overall Impression & Rating
For an iconic Black Metal band, Soulside Journey is an anomaly. An album that’s trying to do one thing, but some of the band members really want to do something else. This creates a bipolar record that’s not horrendous, but at the same time really isn’t great. Starting a band with a bad CD is always a bad sign, but starting your career on a “Meh” release is better. Not fantastic, but it’s better than a awful starter release.

Soulside Journey gets a 5.5 out of 10.

Well, that was Soulside Journey, the first release in Darkthrone’s storied & infamous career. Despite their first outing, they & many other bands in Norway were planting some wicked seeds into the cold, frost-covered ground. Come 1992, and the group will harvest so truly wicked fruit. However, what fruit was bourne will have to wait for another review later this year. So come back next month, when we’ll go through our first themed-period, when I’ll review some kid friendly anime & music. See you soon!

Anime Review - Mad Bull 34

Trash, fellow Otaku & Metal Heads. You can find it anywhere in the anime industry, and especially the music industry. From old releases that create a false identity & stereotype, to new shows & albums that push people away from the mediums, you’ll find your fair share of titles that will make you cringe. Today’s show belongs in the former category: a show that was brought over during anime’s rising popularity in the 90s just to make some quick chump change. It’s infamous nature is still known to certain anime circles to this very day, and it’s reputation is well deserved. So let’s not waste more time: put on your hazmat suit, grab a Geiger counter, and observe the majestic travesty that is Mad Bull 34!

Story/Setup
Taken from Wikipedia:

“Daizaburo "Eddie" Ban, a Japanese-American, joins the New York City's toughest precinct, the 34th. On his first day he is partnered up with John Estes, nicknamed "Sleepy" by his friends and "Mad Bull" by his enemies, a cop who stops crime with his own violent brand of justice. Mad Bull makes no qualms about executing common thieves with shotgun blasts, even if they pose a minor threat. He often steals from prostitutes and does incredible amounts of property damage while fighting crime. Mad Bull's unpoliceman-like behavior often puts him in hot water with his partner Daizaburo and the 34th precinct. However, despite how reckless or illegal these acts are, a good cause is always revealed (for example, Sleepy uses the money he steals from the prostitutes to fund a venereal disease clinic and a home for battered and raped women). Perrine Valley, a police lieutenant, joins Daizaburo and Sleepy later on to help them tackle more difficult cases involving the mafia and drug-running.”

This is the basic premise of the entire series. In truth, there are separate stories across four episodes, with only thin collections across each. I say thin, because almost nothing really connects them together in any meaningful way. Coupled with the rather chaotic storylines within the episodes themselves, and you essentially have a mess of a story. It’s difficult to make sense out of it, although given how ridiculous many of the moments are, you really can’t.

Animation
Right off the bat, I can tell you that one of Mad Bull 34's core weaknesses is it’s animation. You can immediately tell that this is a show from the 90s. Early 90s, to be exact. There’s a gritty quality that you can only find from this period in anime’s history, although not necessarily the best kind of gritty. There’s a lot of dark scenes in each of the 4 episodes, and plenty of darker colors used as well (There’s a weird yellow tint in episode 3, however). This creates an atmosphere of smog & grime that’s a little over the top, even if it wasn’t completely intentional. The one silver lining within the trash that is the animation of Mad Bull 34 is that it does attempt to look a little realistic. It attempts to make things look a tiny bit western, and while it not massively successful, some small moments come up from time to time that are effective in this regard.

Oh, and be on the lookout for Engrish misspelling in the background. And gore. Lots & lots of gore!

Voice Acting
The voice acting for Mad Bull 34 is.....okay at best. On the one hand, the voice actors are trying way to hard to re-create New York City accents with most of the characters. As fellow anime fan & reviewer Bennett the Sage once said: you don’t need to sound like Meowth all the time! There is an incredibly hokey component to all of the voice acting, not just the ones that go down the New York route. Hell, even the script is one of the most out-there things you’ll ever hear, with lines that would make your jaw drop & hit the floor.....then fall through said floor for a couple more feet.

On the other hand, in a weird way I kinda love the voice acting of Mad Bull 34. Make no mistake, the voice acting within this show is flat-out meh (Or outright awful in the case of older anime fans). If you can set aside how bad it can be, it can actually be enjoyable, albeit in a weird way. The over-the-topness is a weird strength in this regard, and it’s something I can appreciate, but only in doses.

Characters
Characters, for the most part, are a bit of a joke in Mad Bull 34. On the bad guy side of things, pretty much everybody is just throwaway cannon-fodder. There’s really no personality to any of them, since they’re really there just to get blown away by Mad Bull. Even in regards to the main bad guy of the episode you’re watching, they’re really just an over-the-top caricature that’s meant to get the crap beat out of. When they’re taken out, chances are you’ll probably forget them not too long after the episode is done.

For a show that deals with New York cops taking out crime, there’s only a tiny few “Good” characters to watch. I put quotes around the word Good, because some of them can be just as bad as the criminals they fight. Mad Bull himself is insane: he bangs women like there’s no tomorrow, resorts to violence on a frequent basis, and tends to take the easy way out in certain circumstances. There are moments where he does have some legitimate good intentions, and is actually a nice guy, but they are few & far between, and really don’t quite redeem the character. The police chief is kind of bonkers, and the S.W.A.T. team that show up in the last episode are scumbags.

Only 3 characters can truly be considered good throughout this show. Daizaburo is an honest-to-goodness decent cop, who follows the law as often as he can, breaking routine only when the situation calls/requires it. Perrine Valley is also like Daizaburo in regards to her police duties, and is really one of the few women in the show that has some kind of backbone. She can kick a little ass, and look damn good doing so! Last up are the various women that show up in each of the episodes. Truth be told, the women in this show are treated as sex object. 90 percent of the time, you’ll find one of the various girls in some sort of sexual situation, whether against their will or not. The 10 percent that remains unmolested are actually nice people, who just go about their way trying to survive in a city that’s off it’s medication.
                                               
Availability & Pricing
In a twist even more shocking than Kimba the White Lion’s re-release, Mad Bull 34 got one as well. Originally it was going to be put out on DVD in the 2000s, but by 2006 the license was lost. Come 2013, and we’ve finally got the show re-released....thank God?

Anyways, Mad Bull 34 can be found in all the typical retailers I’ve described here on the Heavy Metal Otaku blog (Amazon, Best Buy, F.Y.E.). What’s interesting is that the pricing across all 3 retailers is relatively inexpensive: new copies on Amazon start at $14.14, new copies on Best Buy start at $17.99, and F.Y.E. has new copies available starting at $20.98 (Members only pay $18.88). The pricing is certainly a surprise, given the notorious reputation of this show.

Overall Impression & Rating
Mad Bull 34 is a relic of it’s time. A shovelware anime title that was brought over, and put out just to make a buck. Much of the vulgar content within the show probably helped create the stereotype that anime is a vulgar, violent, and sex-filled medium. Old-school anime fans hated it, and new-school fans that come across it will probably be disgusted by it. For me, I certainly find it very distasteful, but the warped part of me finds something to enjoy within the muck. Maybe it’s because of how psychotically stupid it all is, but there’s something within the tastelessness of the oddity of Mad Bull 34 that’s charming in a warped way. If you’re even remotely interested at this point, I can only say 1 word......beware! 

I’m personally giving Mad Bull 34 a 6 out of 10. I have to turn off a massive portion of my brain when I’m watching this, but under the right circumstance, I can actually get some enjoyment out of this! More older anime fans will probably give this a 4 out of 10, maybe even lower.

See you all next time, when we’ll return to the world of Death Metal!



***
For Bennett the Sage’s take on Mad Bull 34, watch the videos below:

http://benthesage.com/anime-abandon-mad-bull-34-part-i/

http://benthesage.com/anime-abandon-mad-bull-34-part-ii/

On another note, I wrote up my music review alongside this one, and I’ll probably put it up around Friday. 2 reviews in 1 week. Woot!

The Top 5 Anime I'm Looking Forward To

Hey there fellow Otaku & Metal Heads!

I want to apologize before I start. I said in my last review that I was going to review, and I quote, “A more mature series”. Let me make things clear: I was not going to review a hentai. I’m sorry about any confusion, but I wasn’t trying to insinuate anything. In the meantime, as I’m getting that review ready, I wanted to get out some quick content for you guys. With the anime that’s getting put out, there are probably some titles that we’re excited for. I’ve definitely got some titles I’m interested in. Some more so than others. So to tide things over, here are the top 5 anime that I’m looking forward to. Enjoy!

5) Shokugeki no Souma (Trailer)

This show started in the spring, but it’ still making it’s presence known in the coming months. If you liked Yakitake Japan, but wanted more fan service, than Shokugeki no Souma is definitely for you! What’s most surprising about this show is how surprisingly educational it can be. Even though it’s only 6 episodes in, the show throws a lot of real-life facts about food & cooking. It certainly makes me want to cook some of the recipes shown, even if I enjoy this series for all the wrong reasons.

4) High School Star Musical (Trailer)

Warped curiosity. That’s the reason why this pretty-boy series is on the list. Since 2014, I’ve noticed that more & more shows like this (And shows like this, but with a twist) somehow manage to cross my path. Hell, even the story of High School Star Musical come across as similar to other pretty-boy shows (*Cough* Uta No Price Sama *Cough*). Just take a look!:

“Yuuta Hoshiya enters Ayana Academy, a school focusing on show business activities, specifically music. The academy has a group of three students with the highest grades in the musical department, and they are known as the Kao Kai (Cherry Blossom Flower Association). This organization stands at the top of the pecking order within the academy. The shortcut to entering the musical department is to enter the Star Frame class, which is directly taught by the members, and to be recognized by them. Unfortunately, due to their own problems, students Touru, Kaito, Shou, Shu, and Yuuta are all struggling to even remain candidates for the musical department. By a stroke of luck, however, the five are spotted by Kao Kai member Ootori, and they attract his interest.”

Yeah, this normally isn’t some I like (A friend is dragging me into this movie, kicking & screaming), but I’m going into it regardless. Hopefully, I’m not having rage fits by the time I’m done watching this show.

3) Himouto! Umaru-chan (Manga)

Adorable! This is the one word that I can use to describe this upcoming series. Premise is actually rather simple: An older brother’s little sister, on the surface, is kind, sweet & smart, but when she comes home she turns into what is essentially a little kid. Hijinks insues between the brother & sister, with other people getting pulled into their strange little world. It’s a really cute looking show, and doesn’t seem too heavy for the most part. If you’ve watched a bunch of more serious shows recently, then this will be a nice treat when it comes out.

2) Gakusen Toshi Asterisk (Trailer)

Okay, I will fully admit it. I’m looking forward to this simple because it has “Ecchi” in it’s descriptor. I know pretty much next to nothing about it, apart from the fact that it has a manga. Even the descriptor I found for it seems a little vague:

“The Academy City on water, "Rikka". This city, otherwise known as 'Asterisk', was famous for being the world's largest stage for the integrated battle entertainment . The young boys and girls of the belonging to the six academies made their wishes with Shining Armaments in their hands, vying for supremacy -- Amagiri Ayato is one of them.

Ayato arrived at Rikka at the invitation of the Student Council President of the Seidoukan Academy, Claudia, and right after that he incurred the wrath of the Julis, and ended up having to duel her.

The greatest academy battle entertainment, begins here!”

Yeah, being excited for a show just because of fan-service is rather shameless. If you’ve met me in person, you won’t be surprised by this. Speaking of fan-service.....

1) Monster Musume: Everyday Life with Monster Girls (Trailer)

I read the online translation religiously. I own the first 6 volumes, and I read those...religiously. When I heard the rumblings that a Monster Musume anime was in the works, I was getting my body ready. Then I saw the preview pictures, and I let loose such a Heavy Metal Squee that the shockwaves are probably still traveling through space to this day. Despite the challenges that might be present with animating some of the girls, I am excited for this series! A harem series with a twist, Monster Musume: Everyday Life with Monster Girls has something for everybody. You want fan-service? There’s fan-service! You want romance? You’ve got romance! You want a series that’s lighthearted but thoughtful? You’ve got that too!

Monster Musume: Everyday Life with Monster Girls, quite possibly the one anime this entire year that I’m 100% excited for, and you should be too!

So these were my top 5 anime that I’m excited for this year. Hopefully, you might find something here to put on your list!

See you next week, when I’ll post up the review I promised last time!

Anime Review - Kimba The White Lion

Guten Tag fellow Otaku & Metalheads!

I might be a young adult, but that doesn’t mean I’ve thrown away things that were important to me when I was a kid. Far from it, I’ve embraced those things (Well, some of them at least) in order to become more mature & adult. Bugs Bunny, Bill Nye the Science Guy, you name it! Even anime that’s geared for younger people, I’ve learned to appreciate over the years. Today’s review actually comes from my Parent’s generation, or more specifically my Mom’s childhood. A show that she grew up with & loved, and one that she actually passed to me in recent years. A kid’s show that equal parts serious & silly, manic & mature, heartfelt & hilarious. With it’s revival in recent memory, I couldn’t pass this show up. So without further interruptions, here’s a look at the mid-60s classic, Kimba the White Lion!

Story/Setup
Taken from Wikipedia:

“In Africa during the mid-20th century, as mankind encroaches, the white lion Panja (Caesar in the English dub) gives the jungle's wild animals a safe haven. However, he angers nearby villagers by stealing their cattle and their food to feed the jungle carnivores. (In the English dub he merely frees the cattle.) A professional hunter, Ham Egg (Viper Snakely in the English dub), is called in to stop these raids. He avoids directly attacking Panja. Instead, he records the sounds of Panja and uses them to trap his mate, Eliza, who then becomes bait in a trap for Panja. Panja is killed for his hide, and the pregnant Eliza is put on a ship, destined for a zoo. Leo (Kimba in the English dub) is born on the boat. Eliza teaches him his father's ideals. As a huge tropical storm nears, she urges her cub out through the bars of her cage. The storm wrecks the boat, and he flounders in the ocean. The fish help him learn to swim. As he begins to despair, the stars in the sky form the face of his mother, who encourages him. Guided by butterflies, he makes it to land. Leo lands far from his ancestral home and is found and cared for by some people. He learns the advantages of human culture, and decides that when he returns to his wild home he will bring culture to the jungle and stand for peace like his father. The show follows Leo's life after he returns to the wild, still a young cub, and how he learns and grows in the next year. Leo soon learns that only communication and mutual understanding between animals and humans will bring true peace.”

For a kids anime, Kimba the White Lion has one of the deepest & most mature stories ever written! Very few show can be compared to it, and the shows that can are almost as old as Kimba itself. There are plenty of moments where things are quite mature: characters learn things, go through some very tough circumstances, and almost have a brush with death! This show doesn’t completely concentrates of these serious components, however. There are also an equal number of moments where there’s a more lighthearted atmosphere. New friendships, having fun, and even the blossoms of love take center stage when something heavy isn’t needed. What makes this great is that Kimba the White Lion never leans towards one side or the other: during the course of the series, it maintain a perfect balance, never losing it during the entire time.

Animation
Kimba The White Lion’s animation is something of a double-edged sword. On the one hand, you can immediately tell that this is an old series. Even with the re-mastering of the entire series, you can still see that this is a 60s series. I can only describe the color pallet as a rainbow that exploded at a nuclear power plant. There are episodes that are bursting with color, while other episodes sometimes seem slightly muted. Again, even with the previously mentioned remastering, these problems can be spotted by even the most casual of animation fans.

On the other hand, this is a Osamu Tezuka series, and as such is a visually striking series. Characters look unique, and the world itself that was created is a wonder to behold! There are plenty of set pieces that capture your imagination, and even the more basic elements are pleasant to look at. There are times where segments are repeated, but 9 times out of 10 you’ll be seeing something different in each of the show’s 52 episodes.

Voice Acting
If the show’s animation was a double-edged, then it’s voice acting leans more towards the “Meh” side of things. In addition to the re-mastering of the animation, the audio quality was re-mastered as well. The voice work sounds much more crisp & clean, although it’s still dated, but for completely different reasons. Many of the lines within are absolutely goofy & silly, and sure Kimba is a kid’s show, thus there’s an expected aspect of silliness. However, there are lines within that have left me scratching my head, not to mention the hokey musical numbers that would induce diabetes in lesser individuals. I suggest you watch episode 34, a.k.a. “Jungle Fun”, for what may be the sappiest song in the entire series, and see if you don’t come out of it without at least a hint of mental trauma.

Characters
For a kid’s series, there is a wealth of characters in Kimba the White Lion. There are plenty of humans Kimba & the gang come across, and a breadth of animals & wildlife that make up a bulk of the individuals the viewer encounters. Both sides come across as very different groups: the humans are very ignorant, have a disregard for nature, and sometimes act before they think. The animals, meanwhile, have something of a collective mentality. There’s a big “All for one, One for all” belief within the animal kingdom, but there are plenty of circumstances where this is not the case. Some of the worst villains in this series actually come from animal side of the cast, and they’re really just humans wearing an animal’s skin. There are exceptions among the humans as well: a handful of them understand the plight that Kimba and his friends are going through, and do what they can to help. In the case of one individual (Roger Ranger), they actually live within the jungle, and live as Kimba and the rest of the animals do.

This really is the bulk of what makes Kimba the White Lion so great, apart from the story. Every single character, even the secondary ones, all have personality to them. Everybody pulls their weight, and they all change overtime for the better. Even a villain or two is a little different by the end of the show, and when the animals & humans get together, it’s often quite powerful & emotional in someway.

Availability & Pricing
In a great set of circumstances, Kimba the White Lion recently has been re-released to the public (It’s been released on DVDs & tapes before, but those have become harder to locate). July of 2013, to be exact. Due to this re-release, you can find the collection on the typical places (Amazon, F.Y.E., Best Buy). Pricing ranges across the 3 places: FYE is the most expensive of the options, which are priced at 60 dollars. Amazon is the 2nd most expensive, with the pricing range from 34 to 40 dollars. Best Buy is actually the best (Pun somewhat intended) option in the regard, with a brand new copy going for 35 dollars. Yes, it’s a tiny bit more expensive than the base price of Amazon, but a dollar difference isn’t always an issue.

Other
Yes, some of the sticklers among you are going “Disney ripped this story off for The Lion King! They’re cheap!”. I’m not going to disagree with many of you, as there are plenty of parallels between the two stories: the father that dies, the prodigal son, the advisors & friends that help the son grow into a man, etc. Yeah, there’s a lot of things you can compare to, but there are also some things that still make both series/movies different from one, enough to the point where they’re still two separate things. 

Overall Impression & Rating
It’s unfortunate that so many children’s anime today has become so substandard. Weak stories & condescending morals really make it difficult to convey an important message, and considering that most of them are really commercials, there’s nothing of substance. Kimba the White Lion curb-checks all of them: a good story, fantastic morals, wonderful characters, and a great message can all be found within every single episode. There’s definitely some blemishes to be sure, but they really can’t take away the weight & power of Kimba. Certainly a title you should watch, whether you’re a kid or adult.

Kimba The White Lion gets a 8.5 out of 10.

See you all next time, when I’ll review a more mature title!




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If you want to watch a few episodes to judge the series before you buy, click the link below:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=ELP7kHaRxcFPg

My Top 10 Movies & TV Shows

Hey everybody!

It’s been a little bit since I put up my last “Top 10” list. I’ve been getting other posts up, and almost forgot to do this one (A partial lie)! To step away from the doom & gloom of April, today’s list is actually two-in-one, giving you a double dose of the inner workings of my mind. This time around, we’ll be looking at some of my favorite movies & television shows. I would have done them separately (In fact, I did just this over on my old blog), but if you saw the clue in my last post, you might have noticed the clue. Anways, here are my top 10 movies & TV shows. Grab a bag of popcorn, and enjoy!

10) Hellraiser (Sample Clip)

Funny fact about me: I’m not much of a horror fan.

You might pick on me, but I’ve never really been able to get into the genre. I have a really overactive imagination, enough to the point where I can sometimes feel the pain when people get hurt or killed (I can’t watch Alien without getting chest pains). Even horror anime I can’t watch, but as with horror in anime, there are a few scary films I actually like, and Hellraiser is one of them. Clive Barker knows how to make a scary film, mixing the physical with surreal sights & sensations, not to mention having a interesting story, and characters that are both likable & absolutely filthy. Coupled with an iconic horror monster played by a damn good actor (Doug Bradley), some great one-liners, and some surprising intellectual value, you have an entertaining movie. Certainly a classic you shouldn’t miss!

9) A Christmas Story (Sample Clip)

The sad thing is, Scrooged is a movie I enjoy more than this, but only just. The premise behind it is familiar, but somehow new at the same time. It also helps that Bill Murray headlines the movie (Hell, his face is plastered on the front of the DVD case), and his performance is just awesome. So you’re asking yourself “If you liked Scrooged more, why are you putting A Christmas Story on this list instead?” Well.....

I’m putting A Christmas Story here because I can relate to it more. I can remember being as young as the main character during the holidays. I can remember how strange things could get during that time, and I can remember the wonder (And occasional horror) when I came down the stairs to gaze upon the sparkling tree with the presents underneath. It’s those kind of memories that ring in my mind, and I would put this in a film ark in a minute because of that!

8) Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (Sample Clip)

If you grew up during the 90s, chances are you’ve heard of the Power Rangers. If you were one of said kids of that liked the Power Rangers, chances are you’ve watched the Power Rangers movie. Despite problems during production and mixed reactions from movie critics, the film has gained a considerable cult following, and actually managed to be a financial success overall! While I despise the modern interpretations of the rangers, my childhood nostalgia still has fond memories of the older crew, and this movie is a part of that nostalgia. It’s cheesiness has aged considerably since it’s release (Whether it’s cheesiness is good or bad is a matter of the individual in question), but I still smile once in a while when I watch clips on youtube. If you want a glimpse into the 90s, it wouldn’t hurt to start here!

7) Rocky Horror Picture Show (Sample Clip)

Like the genre of horror, I’m not a fan of musicals. Unlike horror, I have a greater distaste for musicals. Most of them take themselves too seriously, and those that try to do something even a tiny bit original seem to go back to being too serious. However, there are two musicals that come to my mind when I think of musicals that actually do something original: Frozen, and my number 7 choice, Rocky Horror Picture Show.

Rocky Horror Picture Show does a bunch of things that separate it from the pack. For starters, it’s a rock n’ roll musical. Most musicals go for a big band kind of sound or operatic sounds, so basing a musical around rock n’ roll is a bit of a risk taker. Secondly, there are plenty of comedic & wacky moments that propel the story along. A cheesy wedding, meeting Tim Curry in drag for the first time, and seeing a undead Meatloaf ride around on a Harley are just some of the mindwarping moments you’ll witness over the course of this movie. Third & finally, and most importantly, this movie in general is balls to the wall insane, and doesn’t care what other people think about it. It’s that kind of attitude that can make a musical, movie, video game, music album, or anime pretty damn successful, even if critics don’t necessarily like. Rocky Horror Picture Show easily falls into that category, and if you’re a fan of unconventional movies, you’ll enjoy this immediately.

6) UHF (Sample Clip)

It’s really such a shame that this movie was slammed back in the day, because I thought that the film was Weird Al at his best. He was consistently funny throughout the entire film, and the supporting cast (Which included the guy that played Kramer in Seinfeld, as well Fran Drescher from The Nanny) added a lot of personality to it. What also makes this film fun, at least for me, was the wackiness of the scenes, and trust me when I say that some of these scenes/skits are some of the most bizarre things I’ve ever seen.

You have Weird Al’s daydream sequences (The first one is a spoof on the beginning of Raiders of the Lost Ark, and in a later sequence he’s imagining himself as Rambo rescuing Kramer), karate students getting thrown through walls and out of windows, the Wheel of Fish, and a host of other scenes/skits that I can’t really explain. This is an example where watching the movie will make far more sense than me trying to explain it.

5) Die Hard I (Sample Clip)

Considering how much I love guns, explosions, and one-liners, I found it to be a disservice to my action movie cred for never watching Die Hard in it’s entirety. I’ve always managed to catch pieces of it on TV, but it was usually censored, and there may have been something taken out. About mid-October of 2013, I finally managed to catch it right at the beginning, and holy hell was it fun!

There’s not that many movies out there where I smile the entire time, but this was one where that, once the shit hit the fan, I found myself smiling immediately, and my smile couldn’t fade away. Dare I say it, but I find that Die Hard is considerably more cheesy then the Power Rangers movie, and has considerably more staying power in pop culture. The only way for the cheese factor to reach diabetes level, would be to have Die Hard crossed with Power Rangers. Power Rangers Die Hard?

4) The Thing: 1982 Edition (Sample Clip)

Like I was talking about during Hellraiser, I don’t like horror films much. Most of them are far too creepy for me, and I sometimes feel the pain the victims are experiencing (A little bit of psychic stuff. Long story). Hellraiser was one of the first, and while I liked that movie, I enjoyed The Thing. From what I’ve heard about the prequel movie from 2011, it’s slaps the original movie’s face, so I’ve been avoiding it like the plague.

With that out of the way, The Thing still holds up today. The practical effects still look fantastic, the atmosphere is just perfect, the acting, while a little campy nowadays, is well done, and overall is a perfectly constructed horror movie. It knows when to be scary & suspenseful, it knows when to have character development, and it even knows when & how to be funny. Not a lot of horror movies do this nowadays, so go watch this!

3) Blazing Saddles (Sample Clip)

Easily the most politically incorrect movie I’ve ever watched, Blazing Saddles also has the distinction of being one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen. If there’s anything wrong with the film, it’s that another film like it will never be made again, simply because the politically correct environment we live in right now won’t let it be made. It’s really sad that so many people get upset by what’s in the film, cause it’s a really great satirical comedy.

This definitely isn’t a movie for politically-correct individuals. Words like “Nigger” & “Chink” are thrown around, jokes about breasts and sex abound, and there’s the notorious Bean scene, where a torrent of farts floods your ear canals. Despite the subject matter of the humor, the underlying message of Blazing Saddles is just how ridiculous racism & sexism is, and that we should get along regardless of race, gender, and even orientation. It’s a great message that needs to be spread all over the world, and perhaps there won’t be as much bloodshed.

2) The Mummy (1999 Edition) (Sample Clip) & Mystery Men (Sample Clip)

Right around 1999 to 2000, I was beginning to get more into movies, the first two films I got addicted to was The Mummy & Mystery Men. I really can’t separate these two films, simply because I enjoy them that much.

Now, I’ve never seen the original 1932 edition of The Mummy, so I really can’t compare it to this one (Unlike The Thing, and even then that’s something of a stretch). When I saw this movie for the first time, I was awed by what I saw. Before The Mummy, the movies I saw were relatively tame, mostly because my mother was cautious about what I saw. I had turned 13 around 1999/2000, and this was the first movie I saw when she loosened up a bit.
What I can say is that this version of the Mummy is very different than it’s predecessor. Whereas the original movie was focused mainly on horror & suspense, the 1999 edition was a mix of action, horror, suspense, and it also managed to sneak in a couple comedic moments. The cast was also a plus for the movie, with Brendan Fraser as the lead good guy, and Arnold Vosloo as the main bad guy. There were plenty of other good actors that graced the movie, such as Rachel Weisz, John David Hannah, and Kevin J. O'Connor. The setting of a mid 20s Egypt brings a mystical & early modern wonder to the movie, making for a great flick to watch when the lights are dim.

Like The Mummy, I watched Mystery Men in that 1999-2000 period of my life, when I was getting a better grasp & understanding of movies. Also like the previous movie, I watched the hell out of the VHS copy I have, probably to the point of making the tape fragile. What makes Mystery Men a fun film for me, is that it takes a standard film trope (In this case the Superhero genre) and turns it on it’s head. In the movie, the bay guy is fairly obvious, the obvious good guy turns out to be a douchebag, and the real good guys are the underdogs that save the day in the end.

Even if the movie wasn’t a goofy superhero/sci-fi comedy, it’s the cast of characters that endears me to the movie. For the good guys, there’s William H. Macy, Ben Stiller, Hank Azaria, Kel Mitchell, Paul Reubens, Janeane Garofalo, and Wes Studi as various lesser-known superheroes. With the bad guys, Geoffrey Rush is the lead villain, and Eddie Izzard as his second-in-command. This cast is quite an ensemble of A-list and B-list actors & comedians, and somehow, through some mysterious way, all of these people meld together, and create a truly memorable experience.

With my number 10 to 2 movies out of the way, now it’s time for some TV. Here are my number 10 to number 2 television shows!

10) MXC (Sample Clip)

Looking back, if there was a television show that I’m ashamed of liking, it would be this. Airing from 2003 to I think 2006/2007, MXC (Formerly known as Most Extreme Elimination Challenge) was a Japanese game show with a English dub. Now, if that sounds strange, let me go on by saying that the dub doesn’t match up with the mouth movements all that well, said dub is filled with incredible amounts of crude sexual innuendo, racial humor, pop culture references, and a host of other things to turn a Japanese game show into a American Gladiators spoof.

The reason this show was able to work in the first place was that it aired at the stage in SpikeTV’s early years, where a good chunk of the shows were relatively crude, and they were still touting the “Network for Guys” moniker. If they were to re-air the show today, or somehow make new episodes, it would totally clash with Spike’s cleaner (But still manly and occasionally crude) image. I guess the reasons why I liked MXC was because of the crude humor, and it somehow appealed to my younger self (I was 16/17 when I first watched the show). When I watch a episode or a clip of an episode now, I still laugh, but at the same time my soul gets just a little darker.

9) WWE (Raw & Smackdown) (Sample Clip)

If I had my blog up around early/mid 2000s (Maybe even late 2000s), I would have placed WWE anywhere from number 6 to number 4 on this list, simply because I loved it that much. Due to some of their business decisions in the past couple years, I’ve become a bit disgusted (During the late summer/early fall of 2014, I voluntarily skipped some episodes of Raw, due to how asinine their actions were at the time). Coupled with how they treat some of their superstars, and some controversies past & present that I’m finally learning about, I have finally begun to lose faith in the company.

With that said, I still have fun watching Raw & Smackdown. I’ve always been a sucker for spectacle, and both of those shows deliver. I still see some of the wrestling legends show up from time to time (It’s awesome to see some of the older guys come back), but it’s great that new talent is coming into the WWE as well (Despite not getting much in the way of screen time). I might not enjoy wrestling as much as I once did, but I still have fun, which I guess is what matters in the end. 
                               
8) Deadliest Warrior (Sample Clip)

There was a time, in the course of SpikeTV’s history, that they actually seemed to be gaining credit & respect. From about 2008 to maybe late 2011, the network was bringing in shows & specials that seemed relatively intelligent & interesting (Emphasis on the word relatively). Of these shows, Deadliest Warrior was right on top for quite a while. For anyone who’s never watched, the show is basically a “What if insert name fought against insert name”, and used elements of Reality TV, History, and Science Fiction. It was actually kinda revolutionary, as silly as that may sound, because while this idea had been flying around for a while, nobody has ever picked it up.

It was really fun to watch! I liked the idea of the show. I liked the testing of the various weapons, and the history behind the warriors of a particular. Even the Reality TV aspects of Deadliest Warrior were fun, as they weren’t as standard as other shows of the genre. The one thing that prevents me from putting it lower on the list is the fact that, regardless of the seasons, there were screwup after screwup. Sometimes it was an expert that wasn’t who they say he was (Or they weren’t as impressive as they were shown), sometimes they screwed up a fact, and they even sometimes screwed up with the editing of a scene. Nowhere was this more evident than in season 3, when everything that was wrong with the show, and then some, became readily apparent. Suffice it to say, Deadliest Warrior is an example of a enjoyable & surprising television series, despite the bullshit.

7) Surviving Disaster (Sample Clip)

Getting axed even sooner than Deadliest Warrior (That show ran for 3 seasons, while this one only ran for 1), Surviving Disaster was another one of the shows that SpikeTV aired that was intelligent, but still provided some entertainment. The basic premise of the show was that the host (Who’s name escapes me) would guide a small group of people through a worst-case disaster, and teach the viewers & people how to survive the disaster in question, hence the name of the show. There was a surprisingly interesting selection of disasters that the show focused on, and they were (In order):

Airplane Hijacking
Office Building Fire
Hurricane
Home Invasion (1 Solitary Individual/Tiger Kidnappers)
Avalanche
Lost At Sea
Mall Shooting
Nuclear Attack (1 mile from the blast & 3 miles from the blast)
Earthquake
Pandemic (Nerve Gas Attack/Global Pandemic)

From the beginning to end, the host told you explicit steps to follow, and experts from various fields would chime in and give their wisdom about the disaster in question. It was really informative, and was quite entertaining in the process. If I had one complaint about Surviving Disaster, it was that the disaster would sometimes be oblivious towards the host, often to the point of ignoring him. Nowhere was this most evident than in the first portion of the home invasion episode. I won’t spoil it for you, so go watch it.

6) Mythbusters (Sample Clip)

There’s not many shows that I can recall that I’ve been with since the beginning. Some of the shows above I’ve been with for a bit, and a couple of the ones below I’ve also been with for a bit, but the one that comes to mind most often that I remember when thinking about this is Mythbusters. First airing on January 23, 2003, the show is still going on today, as it’s currently standing at 257 episodes (this includes special episodes). Part reality tv, part comedy (intentionally or unintentionally), and part science show, Mythbusters tested out the various myths of the world, whether from real life, scenes from movies, or commercials & pop culture. It’s really interesting to see which of the myths are real, and which ones are hoaxes. So if you want a unconventional science show, watch this one!

5) Good Eats (Sample Clip)

I’m very conflicted with this show. On the one hand, I enjoy the host. Alton Brown has been doing Good Eats since 1999, and brings an energy & fun that most other cooking show hosts don’t have. Mr. Brown also brought in a lot of history about many of the more iconic dishes (Beef Wellington, Pavlova, and Spaghetti with Meat Sauce are just a couple of dishes he brings into the light), and can get very scientific at times. Good Eats is also helped by having a lot of humor in the show (With maybe an exception of the first 1 to 3 seasons), and thus keeps viewers glued to the TV screen.

On the other hand, Alton Brown is no longer doing the show (His last episode, a 1-hour special on dark chocolate, aired back in February of 2012, which I used in the sample above). He’s also incredibly opinionated, often to the point of frustrating, and some of his cooking methods are downright bizarre. Steaming & baking chicken wings instead of frying them!? Baking a roux in the oven!? Cooking a lasagna in the crockpot!? These are just a small few of the methods he uses that makes me scratch my head. Despite some of the faults, Good Eats is a great show to get cooking info, or just to be entertained.  

4) ReBoot (Sample Clip)

If I had one complaint about this show, it’s that some of the computer terms they talk about are a little on the dated side (This show first aired back in the early 90s). Many of them don’t have as much weight to them, and the terms that are still relevant have changed in ways. With that said, this was damn good!

For starters, the whole show was done entirely in 3d, which was a big & unprecedented undertaking in the early 90s. Secondly, the concept behind ReBoot was quite unique, and still is (Inside a computer & computer programs? Has there been anything original since then!?). Third, for a kid’s show it was quite smart. There were definitely goofy/silly moments to be sure, but there were also some serious moments as well, and it never talked down to kids also (If there were moments where kids were talked down to, I didn’t notice them). If you’re a casual geek, or a full-blown nerd, then I highly suggest you go watch ReBoot.

3) Bill Nye the Science Guy (Sample Clip) & Beakman’s World (Sample Clip)

If you were a kid growing up in the 90s, and you were watching PBS, chances are you’d come across Bill Nye the Science Guy. Airing from September 1993 to June of 1998 in 100 episodes, Bill Nye was a learning show, teaching kids about various areas of science (Flight, Phases of Matter, and The Moon were just a couple subjects talked about). What made this show so fantastic was that the host was incredibly likable. Bill Nye was a guy that you could tell loved science (The guy still loves science, and is still active within the scientific community), and he wanted to teach the kids of the world about science. In addition to the educational content, there was plenty of goofy things to keep kids hooked onto the screen, not to mention a music video at the end of the episode that parodied popular music of the time.

With Beakman’s World, we have something a little different. Coincidentally airing a year before Bill Nye (Beakman’s World began on September 18, 1992, while Bill Nye started airing on September 10, 1993. Beakman’s World also ran for almost the same length as Bill Nye, reaching 91 episodes before stopping), the show was a educational series in the same vein as Bill Nye was: the host (In this case, Paul Zaloom) was a big science-type person, and he teaches kids all over the world about scientific things. What makes Beakman’s World different is a couple things. For starters, the show is considerably more goofy & silly, but somehow it still didn’t talk down to kids. Secondly, the show relied on kids sending in letters, and certain letters were used for the basis of an episode. Finally, the show was based off of a comic strip (You Can With Beakman and Jax was the name), and it also relied on questions sent in by kids. If you can’t find any Bill Nye episodes, then you can’t go wrong with Beakman’s World.

2) Monty Python’s Flying Circus (Sample Clip)

A couple Christmases ago, my Grandmother was up to celebrate the holiday with my parents & me, and the present I got from her that year was the complete collection of Monty Python’s Flying Circus, which was pretty expensive at the time (I still think it’s expensive, but I’m not quite sure). I’ve laughed at plenty of TV shows over the years, but this was one where I found myself laughing frequently. The crew of Monty Python have made a plethora of funny and iconic skits over the course of the show (The Lumberjack Song, SPAM, and Dead Parrot are just a couple), and even the ones where I wasn’t laughing out loud, I was at least snickering or giggling. It might take a while to watch the whole series, but Monty Python’s Flying Circus is one of those shows where it’s worth it.

Before we get to my number 1 movie & number 1 TV show, I want to quickly show of my honorable mentions for both. Movies & shows that, while absolutely fantastic to watch, didn’t quite make the cut. Maybe it’s subject matter, maybe it’s reputation, etc. Anyways, here they are!

Honorable Mentions (Movies)
HM1) Koyaanisqatsi (Sample Clip)
- Right off the bat, I just want to say that I friggen hate arthouse movies! Hate them completely! I find them condescending, insulting, and a waste of cinematic space. They do nothing but turn me off from the genre, and light an art exhibit on fire. Koyaanisgatsi, however, bucks this trend: translated as “Unbalanced Life” from the language of the Hopi Indian tribe, the film is different from other arthouse movies in that there’s no acting or narration involved. Instead, the film relies entirely on slow motion and time-lapse footage of cities and many natural landscapes across the United States, and the tone relies on the juxtaposition of images and music. Speaking of music, the iconic Philip Glass was brought on board, and he created a repetitive yet highly atmospheric soundtrack. I may not like the arthouse genre, but I can certainly respect this movie!

HM2) Frozen (Sample Clip)
- I was considering putting this movie together with The Rocky Horror Picture Show for a little bit, especially since this is just as much of a musical as Rocky Horror is. In the end, I simply found the previously mentioned film to be superior. I am not saying that Frozen is bad, not at all! It turns the typical “Disney Princess” trope on it’s head, it’s got some catchy songs, and it has characters that are very endearing. Come on, it’s got a talking snowman! Do you need anything else!?

HM3) How To Kill A Mockingbird (Sample Clip)
- Yes everybody, How To Kill A Mockingbird. In an honorable mentions section. Right now, many of you classic cinema fans are probably foaming at the mouth in rage right now. Truth be told, I’m not going to blame you. This is a classic movie, and I absolutely love the hell out of it. Great cast, incredibly timeless, and certainly something even a casual movie goer shouldn’t ignore. Hell, this film even has a scene that gets me to cry every single time I watch! Yes, How To Kill A Mockingbird is one of those movies that gets a hold of you, and never really lets go. If there was anything I had a problem with, it would be how it absolutely infuriates me when it comes to the treatment of African Americans. Yes, the movie is based off of a book, but considering how black people have been treated in this country, you can see why I think this way.

Honorable Mentions (TV Shows)
HM1) My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (Sample Clip)
- Even if you are among those who hate MLP, you can’t deny that the series has made an impressive impact. Spawning a loyal fan base, and creating a cutesy world filled with characters that have infectious personalities, My Little Pony is one of the most popular children’s shows ever produced in recent years. There are certainly some flaws with MLP to be sure: some episodes can be condescending, the story for an episode might not be the greatest, and the fanbase can sometimes be venomous to the point of being hateful (Ironic, given what the message of the show is). Despite it’s problems, I like My Little Pony. It’s cute, fun, and doesn’t make me feel the least bit girly in the slightest!

HM2) The A-Team (Sample Clip)
- Ah, The A-Team. If there was ever a nice piece of 80s cheese that one must consume, it would without a doubt be The A-Team. Granted, there was a surprising amount of sexism behind the scenes (Click “***” to read the dirty little details), but if you could get past that one point, then you would have one of the most testosterone-fueled shows out there. There’s guns, explosions, fight scenes, and some of the most ridiculous stories for the episode-of-the-day. The actors were absolutely perfect for the show(It’s always nice to see Mr. T on the TV screen), and the overall experience is just great!

HM3) Walker, Texas Ranger (Sample Clip)
- Remember everything that I just said about The A-Team? Well, put them here, and ramp it all up past 11! Yeah yeah, Chuck Norris gave his recommendation for Mich Huckabee back in 2008, and he’s become something of a homophobe, but back in the day, Mr. Norris was king. During the entire length that Texas Ranger ran, he could shoot & fight as good as any action star during the 90s, and his acting was just as hammy. In fact, the entire series was hammy! The scenario for each episode seemed so ridiculous, even Michael Bay couldn’t make a movie out of it! Walker, Texas Ranger might have aged more horribly than The A-Team, but it’s fans don’t seem to mind.

No. 1 Movie
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (Sample Clip)
    - Now, I love all of the movies in the Indiana Jones series (Including Kingdom of the Crystal Skull), but the first movie I saw in this series was Last Crusade. There’s been plenty of older action movies I’ve seen that still hold up today, but this old-schooler is right at the top in terms of being well-aged (If it’s not at the top, it’s on the step before). Great story, great characters, great effects, great action sequences, It’s got it all. Even the acting, while a little hammy at times, is still great! I’ve met young people that love Last Crusade, and I’ve met older people that love Last Crusade. It’s that kind of power that makes it a movie that last for all time, allowing for individuals of all ages to enjoy.

No. 1 TV Show
Hercules: The Legendary Journeys (Sample Clip)
    - I should start by saying that this show hasn’t necessarily aged well over the years. The 3d effects look cheap, the acting at times is incredibly hammy, and the sets don’t look so great now. Having said that, this was a show that I had incredible amounts of fun watching when I was younger. It was also one of the first things on TV I watched with my Mother & Father, right up there with Saturday morning cartoons, and oddly enough, CBS News.

If I had one word to use when talking about this show, it would be fun. Kevin Sorbo, despite being something of a B-list actor, really puts his all into his role as Hercules. The setting of Ancient Greece was interesting: it was familiar, but gets turned onto it’s head. It also helps that the show has a great sense of humor (Emphasis on great), it knew how & when to be serious, and the main cast of actors just seemed to fit (Bruce Campbell anyone!?). Again, the show aged poorly, but it’s so much fun to watch, it’s hard to hate on it.

So these were my top 10 movies & tv shows. Hope you enjoyed this 3rd trip into my mind, and I’ll be back with the reviews shortly. See you soon!