My Top 15 Video Game Weapons

Welcome to part 3 of my 2-year celebration, fellow Otaku & Metalheads!

We started off this month with a second look at my top 5 most viewed posts, and after that we took a look at one of my favorite Magic the Gathering sets. Today’s post takes my typical top 10 list format, and gives it a little facelift. So today, we’ll be looking at not 5, not 10, but 15 of my favorite video game weapons of all time! I’ve also made things a bit more organized for this list, splitting it into 3 different sections. Without further delay, here are my top 15 video game weapons of all time. Lock & load!

Mildly Like
15) PM9 - Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3 (Video)

I downright dropped my jaw when I saw this included in Modern Warfare 3. Up until this point, the only time you saw Japanese firearms in a CoD game was in World at War. Japan isn’t necessarily known for modern firearms, but every once in a while you heard about something, and the PM9 is one of those few exceptions. A modified Mini-Uzi, the PM9 was a bullet-hose a few years back. Mowing down rooms of enemies, this Japanese take on the classic SMG might not have been the most practical of MW3's submachine guns, but it was fun from time to time.

14) Lava Nails & Multi Grenades/Rockets - Quake: Dissolution of Eternity (Video)

These technically aren’t weapons. They’re really alternative ammo types, but they’re fun enough that I want to talk about them. In the case of the Lava Nails, that’s basically what they are: nails composed of superheated metal that sting so hard, they feel like lava getting poured onto your skin. Fiends cower when they hear the telltale sign of a Lava Nail hitting a wall, and hissing like a snake. With multi grenades, you shoot one out, and it explodes into a swarm of smaller explosives that’ll clear out a room. Multi Rockets are kinda the same thing, as you shoot out 1 for others to follow. A target is as good of dead, as the rockets will seek their target, and make him wish he wasn’t born.

13) Shuriken - Shadow Warrior 1997 (Video)

Dual uzis. A 4-barrel shotgun. A rocket launcher that can heat-seek or fire nuclear warheads. Yet.....shurikens are the first weapon you find? I can’t complain, as Lo Wang is a master ninja. Truth be told, the shurikens aren’t the most practical of Lo Wang’s arsenal, but they make an entertaining backup. Also, if you get any of them stuck in a wall, you can just walk over & pick them out of said wall. A impractical but fun weapon.

Speaking of impractical.....

12) Freezethrower - Duke Nukem 3d (Video)

I could have gone for the Shrink Ray, but at least it doesn’t bounce off the wall & hurt me! The Freezethrower is like a rabid weasel: hold it in front of the enemy, and you’ll freeze them solid & shatter them with a kick. If you miss with the rabid weasel, you’ll hurt yourself. Aiming the rabid weasel away for too long, and you might freeze yourself by accident. If you know the rabid weasel’s ways, then you’ll be fine.

11) Meteor w Thunder Crash Rune - Diablo 3

Technically a spell isn’t a weapon, but I’ll be cheating a little bit throughout this list. I’ll start off with this little number: normally when you cast the basic form of Meteor, it takes a second or two for it to touchdown. Not so with the Thunder Crash rune. Once it’s equipped, you no longer have to wait for it to come down & smack a couple monsters in the face. Plus, the damage is converted to electricity, and it’ll satisfy your inner Thor in a heartbeat!

And speaking of Meteor.....

Moderately Like
10) Meteor w Comet Rune - Diablo 3 (Video)

That brings us to my other favorite Meteor upgrade. Way back in Diablo 3's early days, this was the rune that convinced me to got into an ice direction for my wizard. You always see fire & lightning mages, but ice mages are rare creatures indeed. I control the battlefield with the power of frost, freezing enemies solid. The piece-de-resistance is when I drag a group in with my Black Hole ability (Upgraded with the Absolute Zero rune....should have put it on here in hindsight), and bring the comet down. Those few who survive the freezing assault won’t be around for much longer.

9) Mace of Molag Bal - Skyrim (Video)

Molag Bal. Few names conjure more fear in Skyrim than the Daedric Prince of domination & enslavement, and it is only fitting that he has a weapon that’s fitting to his personality. You find this weapon in it’s weakened state in an abandoned shrine, but you’re sent on a journey to restore glory to his name. After helping the prince get revenge against a rival priest of Boethiah, you’re given his mace, and charged with spreading his power & influence all across Skyrim. Given the power that the mace holds, you’ll definitely oblige.

8) Stakegun - Painkiller (Video)

Of all the FPS games to come out last decade, none (At least in my opinion) had a funkier weapon selection than Painkiller. From the titular weapon that was basically a sawblade on a stick, to a gun that shot shurikens & electricity, not many games could get close. The second weapon you came across after the shotgun was the stakegun, and it didn’t shoot t-bones if that what you thought. Instead, this gun shoots wooden stakes the size of a wrestler’s arm, or if you go for the alternate fire, launch grenades. The grenades blow up demons, and that’s all well & good, but nailing a target up to the wall is far more satisfying. If you get more creative, you can nail a demon into another enemy, or shoot off a limb if your aim is good. So, go out there, and stake your claim....with the stakegun.

7) Gauntlets of the Necromancer - Heretic (Video)(Zoom to the 2 minute 41 second mark)

Usually one doesn’t talk about starter weapons in their favorites. Starter weapons usually are weak, and they’re only to be used as a last result. When it comes to the Gauntlets of the Necromancer, it’s a slightly different case. Your starter weapon before the gauntlets was a staff, but it’s a joke when compared to these metallic beauties. They’ve got an emperor vibe coming off of then, as they both unleash a short-ranged torrent of arcane energy that shred monsters. When you use a tome of power, the gauntlets become stronger, as they now drain enemies of their health, and transfer it to you. Again, starter weapons aren’t the cream of the crop, but the Gauntlets of the Necromancer are a rare exception.

6) Stone Curse - Diablo (Video)

This weapon is the only one on here that doesn’t deal damage. Right away, some of you might have a problem with this, but here me out. If you managed to learn this spell, you’ve secured a powerful defensive option. If a strong monster is coming towards you, you can call upon Stone Curse to turn the enemy into a statue. This spell can also be used offensively as well, as it practically paralyzes a target, leaving him vulnerable for all kinds of attacks. Stone Curse is best used by a sorcerer, but a rogue or warrior can get a little bit of use out of it if they so choose.

Highly Like
5) Ameli/Whale Horn Variant - Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare (Video)

Advanced Warfare was a unique entry in the Call of Duty series. Not only were there base weapons in the multiplayer, but there were also variant models to be gained through drops. Some were useful, while others were useless, but all have a place in the game. Perhaps the weirdest among the variants was the Whale Horn variant for the Ameli. This is a variant that can’t work, shouldn’t work, yet somehow does. It has slightly more recoil than the base model, it’s long-range damage has been reduced, and it’s 3-shot range has been reduced by 65%, but it’s got a tighter hipfire than the base Ameli, and it’s magazine capacity has been increased. Again, the Whale Horn is a misfit gun that really is such a weirdo, but I like misfit weapons, and this one is right up there in my book.

4) Arcane Orb w Frozen Orb Rune - Diablo 3 (Video)

Alright, this is the last Diablo 3 spell I’ll talk about!

This rune variant, if I’m remembering correctly, wasn’t around in D3's original incarnation. This one came out around the time that the pre Reaper of Souls updates were coming out, changing the skills & items. Chief among the wizard skill rune changes was the inclusion of the Frozen Orb rune, and if any of you remember the Sorcerer from Diablo 2, you’ll know this was the cream of the crop of the cold skill tree. You launched 1 frozen orb into a room, and things would die. Things haven’t changed much in Diablo 3: frozen orb goes into a room of monsters, no monsters come out of the room. Instant love!

3) Chaingun w Turret Mod - Doom 2016 (Video)

From here on in the list, the weapons are going to become incredibly dumb, but in a fun way. Starting off this list of stupid is the chaingun from the new Doom. More specifically, the Turret Mod for the chaingun. The base weapon is tough enough, but with this modification, you’re basically giving the gun two extra barrels. When deployed, the chaingun splits into 3 barrels, and unleashes a wall of bullets. Nothing standing in front of this behemoth will live, as they’ll turn into chunky kibble & bits, or a nice bloody slushy. Even if something manages to get out of the way, they’ll just get killed a second later.

2) Infinity Pistol - Borderlands 2 (Video)

True story: I searched for this fabled gun for ages. Even from the start of the game’s release, the Infinity was considered the cream of the crop. It never needed to be reloaded, never took ammunition, and it’s shot pattern was effective. However, finding it was exceedingly difficult, as it almost never dropped from Doc Mercy or from some other source. Finally, I managed to snag one from my Dad, who was playing with his friends, and one of them got a shock variant. He wasn’t interested in it, so he passed it to my Dad, who passed it to me. I still have that pistol somewhere among my characters. I’m not sure who it is though.

1) BFG - Original Doom (Video)

This is it. My number 1 favorite video game weapon, and quite possibly the dumbest gun in all of virtual reality. Even back in the early 90s, the BFG was the king of overpowered stupidity. One shot, and everything dies......except for the strongest demons, who are probably shaking in their boots after seeing their infernal comrades turning into crimson waste. Even hearing the gun fire causes any demon to have chills go up their spins, as they wish they would be dead so they wouldn’t have to be hit by the giant green ball of annihilating energy. I cannot describe thing further, as the BFG speaks for itself.

So this was my top 15 favorite video game weapons list, not to mention the conclusion of September content. October is coming, and that means Halloween anime & heavy metal reviews are coming. So see you on the first of October, when we’ll look at a series......that was a tough one to sit through. See you then!