Anime Review: Maken-Ki (Season 1)

 April Fools Day Month nears it’s end fellow Otaku & Metalheads!

We’ve seen a bunch of stuff so far on this blog. From disgusting video game bosses to weird music videos, there’s been a lot that’s made us laugh (Or at the very least chuckle/snicker). However, videos games & music aren’t the only sources of humor: anime has plenty of shows that are absolutely hilarious (Unintentionally or not). The subject of today’s review is definitely on the funny side, but there’s plenty of action, and even a hint of seriousness on top of the bounteous amounts of fanservice to be had. So let’s train, go to school, and enjoy a look at season 1 of Maken-Ki. Let the review begin!

Story/Setup
Taken from the back of the DVD cover:

“Magic Is Their Breast Defense!

Takeru enrolled in Tenbi Academt because the girl to guy ratio is, like, three girls for every guy. But this bevy of bombshells is actually a school where teens beef up there combat skills using a magic power thingy called a maken. Reheads with wicked high kicks, shocking blonde bullies, and aggressive brunettes are everywhere. And every time there’s a brawl, their clothes tend to disintegrate.

Distracted by all the bouncy brawlers, Takeru has a hard time concentrating on his training. Things get sticky when the hornball can’t figure out how to use his maken. If he doesn’t find his mojo quick, he’ll be dumped by the school of his dreams-or destroyed by an attacker who’s after his magic power thingy!”

Right away, you’re probably smacking your head going “Oh god, another fighting fan service show!”. This really isn’t a surprise, as the director of this show also worked on Ikki Tousen: Dragon Destiny, and while I’ve never seen that show, I can tell you that by looking at art from that series......yeah, you shouldn’t be surprised by what you’re getting into here with Maken-Ki.

However, if you can get past all of the jiggling chests & numerous upskirt shots, Maken-Ki has a surprisingly good story behind it all. Sure, a lot of it comes across like a typical Shonen series, and there’s elements that seem like they’re ripped from Ikki Tousen, but there’s actually a little more going on behind the scenes than you’d realize. The series starts out stereotypically, but overtime the story unfolds into something that deviates from the typical formula of a show like this. Not completely, but enough to where it feels somewhat against the grain.

Animation
Personally, I think the 1st season of Maken-Ki looks really damn good for a series that came out around the start of this decade! Sure, there’s some moments where things look a little older than they should, but overall everything looks fantastic. The characters look great (especially the girls/women), the setting & backgrounds look nice, and there’s a nice amount of fluidity to the movements of everybody that’s on screen.

Voice Acting
Equally as good as the animation is Maken-Ki’s voice acting. Though the main cast definitely puts out a better effort, everybody puts in good voice work overall. Ian Sinclair does a great job of bringing out the kind & noble yet incredibly perverted nature of Takeru, while Monica Rial is absolutely perfect in her role as Haruko. However, like I mentioned earlier, it’s the main cast where the most effort is placed. Much of the secondary cast, while still good with their work, aren’t putting in as much effort. It’s not offensive by any means, but it’s definitely noticeable to people who can hear these kind of things.

Characters
As with the story, if you can get past how fan-servicey everything is, the characters of Maken-Ki are really interesting. They start out liked you’d expect in a fan-service fighting anime, but they begin to unfold in ways you wouldn’t expect. For example: Takeru is definitely a standard pervert in most aspects, but he’s not stupid. He can handle his own in a fight, and while his defense of girls against guys is incredibly stereotypical, it actually comes from a place that’s pretty dark. Pretty much every main character (and some of the side ones) starts out like normal, but has parts of them unfold overtime, and thus exposing more of themselves to the rest of the cast & the viewing audience.

Availability & Pricing
Though the original Blu-Ray/DVD combo pack is older & considerably more expensive (New Copies fetch around $79.99 on Amazon), the S.A.V.E edition of Amazon is considerably cheaper, as new copies start around $14.21. The S.A.V.E. edition is easily your best option, as you’re basically buying the same product as the original combo pack, just as a cost that’s easier on your wallet. The only reason you’d buy the original pack is if you’re interested in being a collector, or you’ve got way too much money to spend.

(I bought my copy at Connecticon in 2016 if I remember correctly, and at a cheaper price as well if I’m also remembering right)

Overall Impression & Rating
Maken Ki: Season 1 is just a fun show. It knows what it is, and just rolls with it regardless of what anyone says & thinks. The fan-service is over-the-top, the fight scenes are impressive, and the story & characters are surprisingly engaging. This show definitely is not for everybody, but if you’re in that right kind of mood, then the 1st season of Maken Ki is for you.

Maken Ki: Season 1 gets a 9 out of 10.

So that was the first season of Maken Ki. An over-the-top fighting anime, filled to the brim with fan service, and all too aware as to what it is. I personally have a load of fun watching this show, and once I get my hands on the second season, I’ll have fun with that as well. April Fools Day month is just about over with, so I’ll see you soon for some final comedic goodies.

(Sorry for getting this up a little late. Had stuff come up last weekend, and wasn’t able to finish watching the show till earlier this week. To be honest, I didn’t complete this review till a few minutes ago. Again, sorry for the delayed posting.)

The Top 5 Weirdest Music Videos (Part 3)

Not since late April of 2016 have I done one of these lists, fellow Otaku & Metalheads!

I confess that I intended to do this series a little more often when I put out the first 2 lists. Got them done....and for some reason I never did anymore until today. My apologies for this, but let’s not get in a tussle over this. Given that it’s still April Fools Day month, it’s only right that I bring back some of the world’s weirdest music videos. Definitely got more of a modern feel with this list, though there’s a little bit of old-school on here. With that out of the way, here are the top 5 weirdest music videos out there.....part 3.

5) Ghost - Rats (Video)

We begin this list with a relatively recent music video. And when I say recent, I really mean recent! Coming out Thursday, the first preview of Ghost’s new album is every bit as heavy, weird, and filled with religious imagery as the band normally gets. The video is equally composed of the previously mentioned components, but there’s one thing that made me scratch my head the first time I saw this, and still does today......the dancing.

I’m not kidding! The newly appointed Cardinal Copia, decked out in a black leather coat & attire, alongside a fancy cane, is moving around as if he was a professional dancer! If that’s really Tobias Forge underneath all of that makeup & costume, then he’s way more flexible than I thought. All of the other aspects of this video I’ve come to expect from Ghost, but it’s the dancing that somehow makes everything stick out. Definitely weird if you ask me!

4) Hulk Hogan - Real American (Video)

Compared to some of the other videos on this list, there’s something incredibly tame about this one. There’s no supernatural weirdness, no political twisting, no dance fighting, etc. So if this video plays things safe, what gets it on this list? Over the top machismo, that’s what! Hulk Hogan has always been a larger than life character, and all of the imagery in this video perfectly goes alongside. From historical figures in American history, to iconic American sites, the Hulkster is there with his muscles & guitar. This one’s actually hard to talk about for some odd reason, so check it out, and see the weirdness yourself.

3) Satyricon - Mother North (Video)

The further I go down the rabbit hole, the more music videos I see that make me question my sanity. Case in point is a dark offering from Norway’s own Satyricon: normally Black Metal music videos are dark, brooding, and full of evil (Most of them anyway). You’ve definitely got that here in Mother North, and it’s definitely creepy & weird....but I can’t take things in the video seriously! I don’t know if it’s just me, but it’s almost like Troma Entertainment were hired by Satyricon to help them make a video, and it shows. From the rather low video quality, to the incredibly cheap makeup, costumes, and effects, it’s easy to see why Mother Morth is so laughable! What ramps up the weird factor is the surprisingly good audio quality. It’s actually surprisingly good, and given that Black Metal isn’t necessarily known for good audio, that’s saying something!

2) Ministry - Twilight Zone (Video)

Another relatively recent music video (It came out on the 27th of February), I confess that this one is high on the list for personal reasons, but I won’t get into that here. I will say out of everything on AmeriKKKant, Twilight Zone is the only song that has some kind of indirect nature. Maybe not that much, but it’s there. Taking the words of Donald Trump, Al Jourgenson & the rest of Ministry paint a warped scene within the song & accompanying video, and one that’s highly reminiscent of the show that’s referenced. Thanks to guest musicians Lord of the Cello & DJ Swamp, the eerie factor is raised quite high, and in the first 2 minutes before the vocals kick in, I can’t deny the fact that I was quite creeped out. To balance out the sinister vibes, Al Jourgensen laces the video & song with a little bit of humor, and the ending result is easily one of the weirdest things out there!

1) Turmion Kätilöt - Dance Panique (Video)

Trust story: this video came out the beginning day of Genericon 2017. Mere hours before it actually started, in fact. Out of the blue, I decided to download it. As it was downloading, I was doing some finishing touches to my first Hentai Comedies Worth Watching panel I was hosting, and I thought to myself “Why not show it before I actually start the panel?” I showed it to the crowd (It was packed in my first version, btw), and it’s since become a staple of the panel.....and why the hell not!?

To be honest, Dance Panique might very well be the most clever video Turmion Kätilöt has ever made. Taking the fighting game formula, and applying it to an industrial club & dancing, is kind of smart & funny.....but it’s so incredibly weird! We get a guy coming into the club for the first time, and he’s got that look on his face like he’s seeing a girl naked. He bumbs into another club goer....who happens to be wearing a panda mask....spilling his drink. The panda guy is annoyed by this, and challenges our hero to a dance off, and of course our hero wins. It only gets weirder from here.

So our hero tries to talk it up with 3 ladies, all the while scenes of the club & it’s various patrons play on in between. Afterwards, some weird old guy shows up, apparently upset at our hero for some reason, and another dance off ensues. This one’s wackier than the last, complete with the old guy trying to wizz on him, and our hero stuffing his hand in his mouth to sicken his opponent. It works, and our hero wins again!

After that, it’s off to the bathroom, and he’s congratulated by a random patron......just before he accidentally pees on the foot of Jesus......I’m not kidding: Jesus is in the next stall. Of course he challenges our hero to a dance battle, but in a twist, he Jesus actually manages to knock our hero out. Luckily, he gets a boost from one of the female patrons, and he then enters “Panique Mode”, which is basically some kind of frenzied mode. Him & Jesus square off one last time, and he manages to defeat his divine foe by making his head explode into sparkles.....Turmion Kätilöt everybody!

So this was a third look at some of the weirdest music videos. Again, it’s been a while since the last time I did one of these, so I’m sorry for the wait. Anyways, I got more comedic material next week, where I’ll be taking a look at a series that all too self aware. See you then!

***
If you’re curious about what was on the first two lists were, check out the links below.

Top 5 Weirdest Music Videos (Part 1)

Top 5 Weirdest Music Videos (Part 2)

Album Review - Iron Maiden's Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son

Happy 30th birthday Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son! Let’s celebrate fellow Otaku & Metalheads!

That’s right: 30 years ago on this very day, Iron Maiden’s last album in the 1980s came onto the scene, and became a treasured record in the discography of this legendary band. There are some haters to be sure, but one can’t deny how awesome & incredible this release is. Upon seeing that this release turned 30 today, I just had to do a review of it. So I popped the album in to give it a listen to, and you now see the results of that listening session. So sit back, take a load off, and take a look at my review for Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son. Let’s begin.

Background
Taken from Wikipedia:

“The idea to base the album around the folklore concept of the seventh son of a seventh son came to bassist Steve Harris after he read Orson Scott Card's Seventh Son. Harris states, "It was our seventh studio album and I didn't have a title for it or any ideas at all. Then I read the story of the seventh son, this mystical figure that was supposed to have all these paranormal gifts, like second sight and what have you, and it was more, at first, that it was just a good title for the seventh album, you know? But then I rang Bruce [Dickinson, vocalist] and started talking about it and the idea just grew."

After his songwriting contributions were rejected from the band's previous album, 1986's Somewhere in Time, Dickinson felt that his role within the band had diminished, as he "just became the singer", but felt renewed enthusiasm when Harris explained the concept to him; "I thought, 'What a great idea! Brilliant!' And of course I was really chuffed, too, because he'd actually rung me to talk about it and ask me if I had any songs that might fit that sort of theme. I was like, 'Well, no, but give me a minute and I'll see what I can do.'" Speaking about the record in later years, however, Dickinson remarked that "we almost did [something great]", explaining that, "it was only half a concept album. There was no attempt to see it all the way through, like we really should have done. Seventh Son... has no story. It's about good and evil, heaven and hell, but isn't every Iron Maiden record?"

In addition to Dickinson's return to writing, the album was also notable for its number of co-written pieces, in contrast to its predecessor, with five of the eight tracks being collaborative efforts. According to Harris, this was probably because they "spent more time checking up on each other to see what everybody else was up to, just to make sure the story fitted properly and went somewhere". To make sure each song fit with the record's concept, the band drew up a basic outline for the story, which Harris states "didn't make the actual writing any easier ... I probably took longer over the writing I've done on this album than any I've done before. But the stuff we all started coming up with, once we'd agreed that we were definitely going for a fully fledged 'concept' album, really startled me. It was so much better than anything we'd done in ages".

Stylistically, Seventh Son of a Seventh Son developed the sounds first heard on Somewhere in Time, although, on this occasion, the synth effects were created by keyboards rather than bass or guitar synthesisers. According to Dickinson, the band decided not to hire a keyboard player, with the parts being "mainly one-finger stuff from Adrian [Smith, guitarist], Steve, the engineer or whoever had a finger free at the time". Harris was fond of the development, in spite of the fact that the record did not sell as well as its predecessor in the United States; "I thought it was the best album we did since Piece of Mind. I loved it because it was more progressive—I thought the keyboards really fitted in brilliantly—'cause that's the influences I grew up with, and I was so pissed off with the Americans, because they didn't really seem to accept it. Everyone said afterwards that it was a European-sounding album. I'm not so sure about that. What's a European-sounding album? To me, it's just a Maiden-sounding album."

Seventh Son of a Seventh Son marked the end of guitarist Adrian Smith's first stint in the band.

Seventh Son of a Seventh Son and its supporting tour marked the last appearance of Adrian Smith until he returned to the band in 1999. The guitarist left during the pre-production stages of the band's following album, 1990's No Prayer for the Dying, as he was unhappy with the more "street-level" direction the group were taking, professing that he "thought we were heading in the right direction with the last two albums" and that he "thought we needed to keep going forward, and it just didn't feel like that to me".”

Basic Description
Egotistical but Awesome.

I’ll talk about that “Egotistical” part later on, so I’ll just talk about the awesomeness of Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son. As I was listening to this album, I was amazed at just how similar the record is to prior Iron Maiden material. More specifically, it’s related to the synth & sci-fi flavoring of Somewhere In Time in many ways: both albums have synthesizers alongside the rest of the instrumentation, both albums are structured around a central story (Blade Runner for Somewhere In Time, and the concept of a seventh son of a seventh son for the album with the same name), and both albums eventually became classics. The critics that blindly hate this release might push potential listeners away, but they’re just an obstacle on the path to this album.

Best Track
Can I Play With Madness is just a catchy track to listen to. Located at the no. 3 spot on the album, it’s got an incredibly catchy guitar riff at the beginning that pulls you in, and after that, you’re treat to an almost Power Metal like story of wizards, crystal balls, and the dangers of forbidden knowledge. Bruce Dickenson’s voice, while beginning to show some signs of wear & tear, still is at the top of it’s game, and the rest of the band puts in some hard work as well. Also, and I don’t know if it’s just me, but the beginning guitar riff was used on a later song....but I’ll get to that track later on down the line. Regardless, Can I Play With Madness is easily a fun song that should show up on your MP3 Player not long after.

Can I Play With Madness

Worst Track
Really the band’s ego on this record is the only major issue. In interviews prior to this release, Bruce Dickenson said you can’t make Heavy Metal with synthesizers. Ironic he says that, then puts out an album that’s got synthesizers all over the place! On top of that, Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son comes across as a little too ambitious for it’s own good. It tries really hard to come across as a modern day fantasy epic, but falls short in a few places, lessening how epic it actually is. In the band’s defense, this really is the only time that Iron Maiden can get away with this. The band created Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son at a time when they were on top of the world, and had a stable enough base upon which they added this record.

Apart from the ego, my only other gripe is with the people that hate this album. Specifically, I dislike the critics that complain about the usage of synthesizers, while at the same time completely ignoring the fact that the record prior to this one had synthesizers in it! To be fair, the amount of synth in that release wasn’t quite as much as this one, but if you’re going to complain about synth usage, complain about it in both!

Other
If you’re curious about listening to this album, click on the link below

Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son

Overall Impression & Rating
Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son is just a fun album. Though the ego coming off of the band makes it’s way to the music, it’s the only time that Iron Maiden could get away with this. They were still strong & making good music, but the hard times weren’t that far away. Despite that, Seventh Son Of A Seventh Song is essential 80s metal, and if you see the front cover staring at you, let it’s mystical call overcome you.

Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son gets a 9 out of 10

So that was a look at the last Iron Maiden album of the 1980s, Seventh Son Of A Seventh Son. If you can get past the ego, you’ll find one of the best sounding records of the 80s. With this celebration over with, we’ll be resuming April Fools Day month next week. See you then!

Wrestlemania 34 Review

Cool Setup This Year!

Hey everybody, and welcome to my review for Wrestlemania 34!

I had a lot of fun watching last year’s event. Compared to the abomination that was Wrestlemania 32, it was leaps & bounds ahead of 2016. Coming into 34, I was definitely expecting things to be as good as last year. The buildup for many of these matches wasn’t necessarily overwhelming or impressive in anyway, but does that impact the show? Well, check out my review to find out. Let’s begin.

Pre-Show/Kickoff
Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal
Prediction: ?
Actual Winner: Matt Hardy
- The one thing I noticed about every match on the preshow is that I couldn’t guess who would win. Case in point is the starter bout, the Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal. Considered by a lot of people (Myself somewhat included) to be a joke, I didn’t feel the need to put a lot of emotion in this fight. As usual, they stuff the ring with a horde of wrestlers they didn’t put on the main card, and again as usual it’s always chaos at first. There were a few small pairings, but because of the chaos, it was a little hard to tell who was with who. Matt Hardy was having fun, as he was embracing the “Woken” gimmick with gusto. We then went to a commercial break (During the Pre-Show?), and I couldn’t tell you who got dumped out in the meantime. It was at about the halfway spot that people were getting dumped out quicker, and things were getting easier to see. It was right at the end that we got an odd visit from Bray Wyatt, who we haven’t seen publically since the Ultimate Deletion match a few weeks ago. When he arrived, Mojo Rolly, Baron Corbin, and Matt Hardy were the last people in the ring. Wyatt threw Corbin out with ease, and Hardy gave Mojo a beating to take the winning spot of the battle royal. An incredibly confusing way to start Wrestlemania.

Cruiserweight Title Tournament Finals (Cedric Alexander vs Mustafa Ali)
Prediction: ?
Actual Winner: Cedric Alexander
- This is the one match on the preshow that I had no concern for. I confess that I have never watched 205 Live, and considering the poor reputation the show has, it’s easy for me to see why I wasn’t excited for this fight. That said, there were some small things I liked: Mustafa Ali came out looking like a hybrid between Sub-Zero from Mortal Kombat and a space marine with his getup, and him & Cedric Alexander were really flexible & bouncy as they fought (There was a little bit of time on the mat for holds), with Cedric ultimately taking the win. I would have liked this match more if I was invested in 205 Live & it’s superstars, but I wasn’t, and I’m likely to forget this bout.

Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal
Prediction: ?
Actual Winner: Naomi
- Out of everything on the preshow, this was the one I was interested in the most. It’s the first time ever that a women’s battle royal has happened at Wrestlemania, and given the controversy with it’s original name, you can see why I’d be curious about this bout. We get 20 women in this match, covering the bases of Raw, Smackdown, and NXT. Just as we get all of the girls into the ring, we go to a commercial about Paige’s upcoming movie, which really interrupted the flow of the introductions. Sasha Banks & Bailey are the last 2 to come in, and it’s because of them that I was interested in this bout as far as their story is concerned. Carmella is the first to be eliminated, as everybody else ganged up on her almost immediately, it was then that I noticed how weirdly coordinated this match was. It was more coordinated because there were 20 people instead of 30, but less so because things broke down quicker. Yet another commercial aired (This time for WWE toys), but it was considerably quicker that the 1st one. A really funny moment happened when Belle Air used her long ponytail as a weapon, which actually seemed to make a bit of noise when it hit somebody. The match goes on a bit more, and we get down to 6 women, with Sasha & Bailey among them. For a brief moment, the two reconnected, and took out 4 girls, leaving them alone in the ring. Further trying to get back together, Bailey hold out her hand for Sasha, only to throw her out of the ring. By this point it seemed like Bailey won, only to see Naomi in the ring, as she technically didn’t get eliminated. The two had a quick bout, but Bailey promptly got eliminated, and Naomi is the first ever winner of the Women’s Battle Royal. Despite ruining a storyline, Naomi winning made for a surprising end to the preshow of Wrestlemania. Onto the show proper!

Main Show
Triple Threat For WWE Intercontinental Title (Seth Rollins vs Finn Balor vs The Miz)
Prediction: Seth Rollins or Finn Balor
Actual Winner: Seth Rollins
- We begin the main show with the Triple Threat Intercontinental Tile Match between Seth Rollins, Finn Balor, and the current title holder The Miz. Seth was the 1st to come out, and can someone tell me why he was wearing those goofy contacts? They looked cool and all, but they reminded me a little too much of when Roman wore them. The Miz came out next, and it was really weird. He had his normal groupies with him (Kicked them to the back), but he had holograms pop out beforehand, and had on a outfit that was like a weird steampunk getup. Finn Balor came out last, and it was easily the weakest of the 3 intros. No demon makeup, no nothing. Despite that, this match was great! Seth & Finn in particular had great chemistry, at least in the beginning. An unusual factor was Miz: his daughter was just born about a week or two before, and he seemed to restrain himself a little in terms of work effort. Despite that, everybody was putting on a good show, and Miz eventually regained control, but all 3 men got close wins. Eventually, Seth Rollins managed to get the rollup for the win.

Smackdown Women’s Title Match (Asuka vs Charlotte Flair)
Prediction: Asuka
Actual Winner: Charlotte Flair
- It’s been a while since I was excited for a women’s match. Usually I just brush them off, but this one had some weight to it. You got the daughter of Ric Flair in one corner, and one of the best representatives of Japanese Strong Style in Asuka in the other corner. A match like this needed excess, and the entrances of both women definitely provides this: Charlotte came out on a throne with old Roman guards, and was a wonderful resemblance to those of her father. Asuka’s entrance wasn’t quite as over the top as Charlotte’s was, but she had some holograms of her various masks & laser beams, so it was still a little goofy. Both women were equally cheered for, and perfectly represented their respective wrestling styles. There were close calls aplenty, but in the end.....Charlotte won......by having Asuka tap out. I’ll attempt to control my temper.....f*&%ing what!!??
- Charlotte won......why!? She didn’t need the win! There was no real purpose to her winning!....at friggin all! To further made me livid, Asuka got on the mike to congratulate Charlotte.....Asuka, you’re a hardcore chick! You get what you want, when you want! You never complement anybody! Unfortunately, my anger carries over to the next match.

United States Championship (Randy Orton vs. Bobby Roode vs. Jinder Mahal vs. Rusev)
Prediction: Rusev
Actual Winner: Jinder Mahal
- No ladies & gentlemen, you’re not seeing things. Jinder Mahal, one of WWE’s biggest failures in recent years......is holding a big title.......AGAIN!!!!!
- Okay okay, let me talk about this match before I blow a gasket. This bout was really bizarre in a way, as it really seemed tailored for Orton, Roode, and Mahal only. Rusev’s position in here was really odd, and if the rumors were true, was done only to placate Rusev into not leaving the company. Anyways, Roode came out first, and it was his usual glorious intro. Rusev was next, and his was perfectly goofy & silly, accompanied by singing from Aiden English. Jinder Mahal was 3rd, and was immediately booed (Could have sworn the audio was lowered when it got bad). Orton was last, and it wasn’t like his dumb entrance from last year. Almost immediately, Orton & Mahal were thrown out of the ring, leaving Roode & Rusev to duke it out. From there, it seemed to be a whirlwind of wresting, as numerous combinations of the 4 men in question were interchanging & fighting, and it was weirdly confusing. By the end, Rusev actually managed to regain power & seemed like he was going to win, only for Jinder to win. Dear god Jinder winning made this match bad! Even if Rusev wasn’t in the match & Jinder didn’t win, it would have been okay at best.

Ronda Rousey & Kurt Angle vs Triple H Stephanie McMahon
Prediction: Ronda Rousey & Kurt Angle
Actual Winner: Ronda Rousey & Kurt Angle
- After two matches with endings that pissed me off, I was fearing the end of this match. Hell, I was scared of this match period. Thankfully, my fears were evaporated with the final 3-count!
- Triple H & Stephanie McMahon came out first, and it was weirdly reminiscent of their entrance at last year’s show. Instead of Stephanie riding with Triple H on his 3-wheeler, she had her own, and instead of cops it was a bunch of girls on 3-wheelers in leather clothes. Kurt Angle came out next, and it was as incredibly classic as an Angle entrance could get. Ronda Rousey was last to arrive, and her getup & titantron was an ode to her hero Roudy Roddy Piper. Almost right away, Stephanie was an immediate c&%t to Rousey, as she constantly taunted her & messed with her. Kurt Angle & Triple H were the first to square off, and I didn’t know if it was me, but the two seemed sluggish.
- I should note that this was a match where both sides’s identities were quite clear. Triple H & Stephanie were obviously heels, and Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey were some of the biggest baby faces I’ve seen in a while. Anyways, we got to a point where Triple H almost hit Stephanie (Another reminder of last year), and it seemed like the good guys would because of this distraction. However, they recovered quickly, and she went back to being a bitch. This angered Ronda, as she managed to get a tag in, and proceed to beat the unholy hell out of Stephanie. Stephanie tries to tag Triple H back in, but can’t because Kurt knocked him off the mat earlier. Ronda gets distracted, and the heels went back to messing with the good guys. Kurt Angle comes back in to make the save, but he gets beat up not long after.
- As we’re nearing the end of the match, Triple H & Ronda engage in a impromptu intergender bout, with Rondy almost winning but Stephanie comes in to interrupt the pin. A little bit after that We’ve got Kurt & H fighting again, where he almost wins at one point, but almost losses again. Luckily, Ronda came in for the save. Rousey almost wins, but Stephanie breaks it up. In a surprising twist, Kurt & Rousey bump into each other, and it looked like this was how Stephanie & Triple H were going to win. Luckily, this was not meant to be, and Kurt Angle & Ronda Rousey were the rightful winners of this match.

SmackDown Tag Team Championship (The Usos vs. The New Day vs. The Bludgeon Brothers)
Prediction: The New Day or The Bludgeon Brothers
Actual Winner: The Bludgeon Brothers
- From an incredibly exciting match, we got to a bout that was simple & predictable, yet fun. The New Day were the first to enter the arena, and they were decked out in Mardi Graw colored outfits, and had midgets in pancake costumes accompany them (The pancake thing is from another goofy New Day skit. Also my favorite intro). The Usos were next, and they came out in what I call their “Samoan Gangbanger” getup, further cementing how boring I think they are now. Finally, the Bludgeon Brothers were last, and there was nothing different about this entrance when you compare it to every other entrance of their’s, apart from the masks.
- The Bludgeon Brothers were incredibly dominant in this match. The Usos & The New Day got a little offense in throughout the fight, but just as it looked like they got an edge, The brothers immediately put them in their place. Outside of the Bludgeon Brothers, the only other team that got some time was the Usos, with the New Day trailing behind. In a moment that echoed their feelings from the week or two before, both the Usos & New Day team up to try to take out the Bludgeon Brothers, but this was not meant to be as Eric & Harper won not long after. Again, this was a predictable match, but there was some fun in how overpowered the Bludgeon Brothers were.

John Cena vs. The Undertaker
Prediction: ?
Actual Winner: Undertaker
- To be perfectly honest, not that many people thought that this match was going to happen. For a month or two Cena had been attempting to call out the Undertaker for a match at Wrestlemania, since he wasn’t on the card. For weeks, and up until the beginning of last week, there was no response. So he said that if he wasn’t going to get a match, he’d be sitting in the crowd as a fan. To his credit, that’s exactly what happened! So for the preshow & the first couple matches, Cena was sitting out in the lower part of the crowd, and chatting it up with fans who were next to him. Then out of nowhere, a referee comes running towards him after the Charlotte & Asuka match, and whispers into his ear that the Undertaker is apparently in the arena, so Cena immediately runs to the back.
- Cut to this match, and Cena comes out like normal. He’s waiting in the ring for the Deadman to come out, but instead it was Elias instead. Berating Cena for expecting the Undertaker, and insulting the crowd, he walks to the ring to a impromptu concert, only for Cena to maul him to death. Feeling dejected that the Undertaker did not answer him, he slowly walks back up the ramp, and about halfway up the arena goes dark. A moment later, the lights point towards the ring, where the Deadman’s gear is neatly in a pile in the middle of the ring (A callout to last year). Lights go out again, and the gear is gone. From there, the familiar gong echoes in the arena, and we have the Deadman return once again!
- I didn’t realize it at the time, but this match went by quick. A friend of mine said it was barely under 3 minutes, but I’m going along with everybody else saying it was around 5 minutes instead. Undertaker was really in control of this match, as Cena was barely able to get any offense in. In a move that shocked everyone, Undertaker took Cena up to the ropes for a little tight-walking moment, which he hasn’t done for a few years now. Ultimately, Undertaker got Cena in the tombstone for the win, and no lie.....but this match got me to shed a manly tear. Laugh if you want!

Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon vs. Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn
Prediction: Bryan & Shane
Actual Winner: Daniel Bryan & Shane McMahon
- After getting some good vibes back from the previous match, we come to a bout that had some anticipation behind it, especially when Daniel Bryan finally got cleared to compete just a few short weeks before 34. That component of the match really got people excited....myself included.
- So we have Shane come out first, and it’s about as normal as you can get with him. Daniel Byran on the other hand, had an entrance that was over the top. We had what looked like a computer screen show up, and from there it examined the birth of the Yes Movement, complete with clips of moments where the Yes chant popped up. They really made it looked like it was a virus of some kind. Cut back to the arena, and he finally showed up to wild cheers. The two men were standing in the ring waiting for Owens & Zayn to show up, and their music did go off, but the two heels showed up from behind for a devastating ambush. Bryan got knocked out of the ring early, and for a while the two were beating up Shane pretty hard. They almost got a pin on him, but Daniel managed to get back in to break the pin up, and he finally gets to show off. With each move he did, it looked like he never missed a beat, and seemed like his old self.
- The match goes on for bit, and at one point Sami & Bryan are in the ring. Bryan is down on the mat, and Sami is berating him, saying “It’s all your fault”. Activating his “Hulk” mode, Daniel Bryan just goes to town on Sami, and not long after that he gets the pin, and the win for both him & Shane.

Raw Women's Championship (Alexa Bliss vs. Nia Jax)
Prediction: Nia Jax
Actual Winner: Nia Jax
- Though not quite intrigued as much as the Women’s Battle Royal from the preshow, I must confess that I had a little interest in this match. For the first time in a while, we had a women’s bout where one of the combatants wasn’t, shall we say......not as slim as the other girl way.
- So Alexa Bliss comes out first, and her entrance is a gaudy as I expect an entrance of her’s to be. Nia Jax is next, and she looks like a pissed off bull in a china shop. Mickey James come out to try & screw up the match (Someone fill me in on this), but Nia quickly throws her out into the trashbin, and the match starts. If I was to describe the events within, I say it would be like a Mach Truck running over a pedestrian dozens of times. Alexa’s only real way to gain any advantage was to cheat, and we a few thumbs to the eye, managed to get herself some even footing with Nia despite it not lasting long. Alexa gets Nia riled even more, and all this does is give Nia the win.

WWE Title Match (Shinsuke Nakamura vs AJ Styles)
Prediction: Shinsuke Nakamura
Actual Winner: AJ Styles
- We come to yet another hyped match here on the card, and I admit that I wasn’t excited for this as much as everyone else was. It’s not that I think both superstars are bad, far from it! It’s more of the fact that I’m not exactly the biggest watcher of NJPW. Anyways, Shinsuke comes out first, and his entrance is an extreme version of his normal entrance. You’ve got rows of violin players, and then there’s some metal guitarist playing along with the strings. AJ Styles comes out next, and it’s not really that much different than his normal entrance.
- The two men then finally begin their match, and.....it’s not that good. Both AJ & Nakamura were incredibly neutered when it came to their NJPW style of wrestling. They were rreally limited to mat work most of the time, and when the leash was loosened, they really didn’t do much. This is a huge shame, as you can see the potential in this, and the fans have been asking for this match ever since both men got into WWE. On top of that, both Japanese superstars who won the Royal Rumble back in January lost! What was the point in both Asuka & Nakamura winning that event, if all that was going to happen was them losing just a couple months later!? On top of that, Nakamura is going heel? Really!?

Raw Tag Team Championship (The Bar vs. Braun Strowman & TBA)
Prediction: ?
Actual Winner: Braun Stroman & Kid (Real Name: Nicholas)
- Like the U.S. Title match, you’re not reading that wrong. Braun Stroman......and a kid...won the match. That kid better be a cancer/Make-A-Wish kid, cause this seriously felt like a huge PR stunt!.....but I’m getting ahead of myself.
- So The Bar comes out first, and it’s a fun entrance. They’re on a Mardi Graw float, complete with people in colorful costumes, throwing out beads, the works. Then it transitions into their normal entrance, and the come to the ring. Braun Strowman is next, and first thing on his mind is to wreck the float, which he does. He gets to the ring, and states that nobody in the back was going to be his partner for the match. Instead, he said it was going to be someone in the crowd, and after a few moments, he spots his partner.......who’s a 10-year old kid.
- Anyways, he picks the kid, and takes him back to the ring. The kid is standing by the ropes, and looks absolutely terrified. Meanwhile, Braun is doing literarily all of the offense, and it goes by quick. The kid is tagged in for a second, only to tag back out. Braun beats up the Bar some more, and eventually get gets the win.........the hell did I watch!!??

WWE Universal Title Match (Roman Reigns vs Brock Lesnar)
Prediction: Roman Reigns (See below)
Actual Winner: Brock Lesnar
- Weirdly enough, this match really feels like a rehash from their original match at 31. Roman is coming out basically to boos (Only there’s a little more cheering this time around), and Brock is getting cheered like crazy. The two seemed to wrestle in much the same way as they did back in 2015, only this time the fans began taking a crap on this far more quickly than 3 years ago. Within 5 minutes, there was a mix of CM Punk chants, This Is Boring, and a host of other merciless insults. Really the only spots that were different this time around was Brock Lesnar saying “Fuck” & getting censored because of that, and Lesnar giving Roman a pretty hard elbow to the head, causing him to bleed pretty badly. I don’t really have anything else to say other than this shouldn’t have been last, the crowd booed hard, and Brock Lesnar won.

Overall Impression & Rating
Wrestlemania 34......wasn’t quite as good as I wanted it to be. Was it better than 33? Sadly it wasn’t, but I can say that it was better than 32. There were definitely matches that were good & the right people went over, but there were far more fights that had the wrong people win or just wasn’t performed/booked well. If WWE listens to it’s fans (Especially the reactions in the final match), they maybe things might change. Given how insensitive the company is to their fans’s feelings, I doubt it.

Wrestlemania 34 gets a 7 to 7.5 out of 10

Monday Night Raw
Hour 1:
- Didn’t watch the 1st hour. My folks were watching a nature documentary, but given what people have said about this first hour.....maybe it was a good thing that I missed it.

Hour 2:
- Our second hour (1st hour for me), we find Seth Rollins, the newly crowned Intercontinental Champion Seth Rollins & Finn Balor are in the ring, taking about who’s next in line to get the title. The Miz comes out to interrupt them, saying that only he’s the one that can get the rematch first. Seth, getting tired of Miz talking, unleashes a pretty good burn, and in turn Miz taunts them into a match. Just as it looks like Miz & the Miztourage might gain an edge, a returned Jeff Hardy comes in to even the odds, but Miz & his toadies make a getaway. This was ultimately all for nothing, as Kurt Angle made a match between both teams for later on in the show.
- Next up was a match between Mandy Rose of Absolution & Sasha Banks. Shortly after the two were in the ring, Bayley comes out in her normal manner, and all she really does is confuse both women. During the match, Manda & Sasha were really fighting like cats throughout the whole thing, but due to an accident between Bayley & Sasha (Bayley tried to punch Mandy, but Mandy ducked out of the way, so Bayley hit Sasha instead), Mandy Rose got the win. Not long afterwards, Paige came into the ring, and I don’t know if it was just me, but I could have sworn that something was up with her face. Anyways, she’s in the ring with a mic, and it turns out that she’s announcing her retirement on account of injuries. Despite her voice sounding a little off, it was incredibly sad that a talent so young retires, and I hope that she’s got a nice future somewhere.
- Elias in next, and he’s in the ring for one of his musical moments. The crowd is trying to take his moment away, but Elias shuts them down, and proceeds with a song. Shortly after, the returning Bobby Lashley comes down to confront Elias, and Bobby just sends him straight into a crater to smolder.
- We go to Kurt Angle, who’s talking on his cellphone to someone, when Kevin Owens & Sami Zayn walk in, apparently looking for a job since they’re no longer welcome on Smackdown. Kurt burns them pretty good (If I’m correct, it went along the lines of “The Tag Team division is full, but I heard TNA is hiring”), but decides to put them in a match for a solo position for either guy on Raw.
- Hour 2 concludes with Heath Slater & Rhyno out in the ring for a Tag Team elimination tournament for the newly vacant titles (Long Story), and the newly arriving Authors Of Pain were their opponents. The match was quick, as the Authors Of Pain took out Heath & Rhyno in record time. Afterwards, for whatever reason, left their managed Paul Ellering behind, seemingly fired him.

Hour 3:
- Roman comes out at the start of hour 3, and the torrent of boos is just about as bad as when he came out after 33. I say just as bad, cause he gets a little more talking time in, but most of said talking is just him whining. Samoa Joe makes his return during this, and he just let’s Roman have it. He just points out every flaw of Roman (Real & maybe imagined), and manages to get the crowd behind him to chant “Failure” & other stuff. Easily my favorite spot of the night.
- We then go to a Woken Matt Hardy segment, where we find that Bray Wyatt is now his ally (The spirit of Sister Abagail was washed away after the Ultimate Deletion), and that the two have a match against Titus Worldwide. At one point, Matt & Titus have a catchphrase soundoff, and at another point the crowd is singing along with the match (Can’t tell what). Both Bray & Matt are absolutely insane in this fight, and said insanity helps them win the fight. In the back afterwards, Jeff reunites with his brother, and that encounter plants the seeds for Brother Nero to possibly return.
- Next up is the Owens vs Zayn Job match, and man was this dumb! Both men really seemed to be matched, as they’re beating each other senseless. Because of said senselessness, the two were counted out, and both men lost.
- Final matchup of the night is Finn Balor, Seth Rollins, and Jeff Hardy vs the Miz & the Miztourage. This was a good of a fight as one could end the show with (Especially how everything else is). Both teams were damn good, with the Miz being filled with rage after losing his title, and the faces melding really well together. They go back & forth for a while, but the faces manage to overcome the Miz & his goons for the win, thus ending the show.

Overall Impression & Rating
Raw, much like Wrestlemania, was definitely disappointing. There was some fun to be had, but there was far more going on that could have been much better. WWE in recent years really doesn’t like to listen to it’s audience, and judging by most of what I saw in this show, it doesn’t look like that’ll change anytime soon.

Raw gets a 7 out of 10.

Tuesday Night Smackdown
Update at a later point....

So that was my review for Wrestlemania 34, along with the accompanying Raw & Smackdown (At a later time). This past weekend was incredibly disappointing, and the past few days weren’t much better. It’s a crying shame, as the things that were good were really good, and the things that were bad were.....well, you get the idea. With this review out of the way, April Fools Day month continues onward, so see you all next week for the continuation of a series I haven’t updated in a while.

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If you want to see what I thought of last year’s Wrestlemania, check out the link below:

Wrestlemania 33

The Top 5 Most Disgusting Bosses In All Of Video Games

Welcome to April Fools Month, fellow Otaku & Metalheads!

All throughout this month, I am dedicating each & every post to the forces of comedy & humor. Everything that’s getting put up will be funny in someway. As I was working on my Grim Reaper overview, I realized unintentionally that I was making something silly, so with that impulse in mind, I figured I’d make a brand new theme month. Today’s post is definitely goofy, but it’s also a little dirty & nasty at the same time. I think it’s a safe bet to say that when we play games, we come across plenty of enemies that leave us queezy. It’s even worse when a boss makes our stomach churn. Thinking about this, I compiled the list you see below. The top 5 bosses in all of video games that make us disgusted, sick, and downright nauseous. This is just my opinion, nothing more & nothing less. So grab your barf bucket & ginger ale, and take a look at the 5 nastiest bosses in all of video games. Let’s begin.

5) Spontaneous Bootay - South Park: The Fractured But Whole (Boss)

To be perfectly honest, I was considering leaving this behemoth of a boss off the list. Why? In comparison to the others on here, she not exactly overtly stomach churning.....just really disgusting. Now I have some girlfriends that are bigger in stature, and even I can’t deny in finding fuller women attractive, but with Bootay? She takes fat to another level! It a weird way she’s kind of mesmerizing in how her body jiggles & shakes whenever she moves, which in turn is what makes this fight funny, but at the same time it makes my skin crawl, and that one aspect of her gets the biggest stripper of the Peppermint Hippo onto this list.

4) The Butcher - Diablo 1 (Boss)

From a rather tame boss, we finally get to one of the truly nasty ones. I think it’s a safe bet to say that one of the most iconic bosses from Blizzard’s output in the 90s was the Diablo classic known as The Butcher. Emerging from his slaughterhouse filled with dozens upon dozens of mutilated townsfolk (And perhaps beyond), this rotund & horned demon is ready to carve up anything it happens to spot. Dressed in only a heavily stained butcher’s apron, he grips a cleaver that is unusually large, and stained with the blood of every victim he has slain, and let’s out the now iconic words “Ahhhhh, frest meat”. Even when you actually down this monster, his slaughterhouse will still stand until the end times, filled with an awful amount of charnel. The Butcher more than deserves his reputation as a deadly & disgusting boss.

3) Dead Space - Hive Mind (Boss)

Now we get to something that’s particularly unsavory.

Perhaps what makes the Hive Mind so particularly disgusting is the fact that you’re given little previews. Upon hearing about the existence of the brain on the Necromorphs, the wheels of your imagination kick into overdrive, as your mind is flooded with thoughts as to what it could be. Then, in the final level, you gaze upon the titanic form.....and it is quite horrific. Take every form of Necromorph you’ve seen up until this point, mash them all together, and you get the Hive Mind. To make things even more nasty, you first have to blast off some of it’s eyes. Then it grabs you in an attempt to eat you, and you’re hanging upside down while you’re blasting off it’s remaining eyes. Then, once you finally do, you have to go for it’s abominable heart. And all the while you’re battling this corpulent & titanic monstrosity, you have to gaze upon how terrifying it’s form is. Though the next 2 games would definitely have ugly & nasty bosses, it’s the Hive Mind that stands out over all the rest, and it’s the one that sticks in my head the most as well.

2) The Great Mighty Poo - Conker’s Bad Fur Day (Boss)

Much like Spontaneous Booty, The Great Mighty Poo is another example of a boss that’s definitely on the funny side. The biggest difference between a morbidly obese black stripper, and a animate pile of shit, is that......it’s a giant animated pile of shit! To be honest, the journey to reach this boss is just as bad, as Conker has to swim though pools of diarrhea, and walk through smelly muck to get to the Poo. Hell, you defeat The Great Mighty Poo by throwing toilet paper into his mouth, then having to reach a pull switch to flush him away. The only reason that The Great Mighty Poo is not at the number one is because in addition to being incredibly disgusting, he also happens to have a surprisingly good singing voice....and he makes me laugh.

(Side Note: Is it just me, or does the censoring in the remaster somehow make the encounter funnier?)

1) Orphan Of Kos - Bloodborne (Boss)

I don’t think any other boss could have made it here. Orphan Of Kos is the nastiest, disgusting, most revolting boss not only in Bloodborne, but in all of video gaming period. For starters, he’s not introduced in a normal matter (As normal for Bloodborne, that is). Instead, you happen to see the dead body of it’s mother on a decrepit beach front, it’s titanic form laid out for the player to see. After that, you’re taken over to a side of Kos, being slightly more bulgy than the rest. Then the bulge moves, and then you realize that you’re witnessing a birth.

But not to a beautiful baby boy mind you. After a moment, you see what is basically an old man get pushed out of an alien womb, complete with a horrific afterbirth. His body is covered in slime, and the placenta that kept it alive still firmly attached. It manages to get completely pushed out, and it’s first act is to standup, look at the grey sky, and proceed to cry. Even worse, the cry sound like that of an old man on his death bed, further etching in your mind just how disturbing this boss truly is.

Even worse, The Orphan Of Kos approaches you slowly at first, but then unleashes a surprising burst of speed, screaming at you like a lunatic. On top of that, it actually uses the placenta as a weapon, and will tear off pieces of it to use as a ranged weapon. As you’re hitting the orphan, some of the screams & howls sound like an old man in pain. Things take a turn for the exceptionally creepy when you get the orphan’s health down halfway, when it suddenly grows flapping leathery wings, and decides to two-hand it’s placenta in an even more furious attempt to kill you. Though I’ve never played Bloodborne, I can safely say that the Orphan Of Kos makes my stomach churn every time I watch the fight, and thus it gets the number one spot on this list.

So these were what I consider to be the top 5 most disgusting bosses in all of video gaming history. Everybody else will probably have their own list of the most disgusting video game bosses, but these are my top 5. Well, I’ve got my Wrestlemania 34 review next week, and afterwards April Fools Month continues onward. See you then!