The Top 5 Weirdest Music Videos (Part 3)

Not since late April of 2016 have I done one of these lists, fellow Otaku & Metalheads!

I confess that I intended to do this series a little more often when I put out the first 2 lists. Got them done....and for some reason I never did anymore until today. My apologies for this, but let’s not get in a tussle over this. Given that it’s still April Fools Day month, it’s only right that I bring back some of the world’s weirdest music videos. Definitely got more of a modern feel with this list, though there’s a little bit of old-school on here. With that out of the way, here are the top 5 weirdest music videos out there.....part 3.

5) Ghost - Rats (Video)

We begin this list with a relatively recent music video. And when I say recent, I really mean recent! Coming out Thursday, the first preview of Ghost’s new album is every bit as heavy, weird, and filled with religious imagery as the band normally gets. The video is equally composed of the previously mentioned components, but there’s one thing that made me scratch my head the first time I saw this, and still does today......the dancing.

I’m not kidding! The newly appointed Cardinal Copia, decked out in a black leather coat & attire, alongside a fancy cane, is moving around as if he was a professional dancer! If that’s really Tobias Forge underneath all of that makeup & costume, then he’s way more flexible than I thought. All of the other aspects of this video I’ve come to expect from Ghost, but it’s the dancing that somehow makes everything stick out. Definitely weird if you ask me!

4) Hulk Hogan - Real American (Video)

Compared to some of the other videos on this list, there’s something incredibly tame about this one. There’s no supernatural weirdness, no political twisting, no dance fighting, etc. So if this video plays things safe, what gets it on this list? Over the top machismo, that’s what! Hulk Hogan has always been a larger than life character, and all of the imagery in this video perfectly goes alongside. From historical figures in American history, to iconic American sites, the Hulkster is there with his muscles & guitar. This one’s actually hard to talk about for some odd reason, so check it out, and see the weirdness yourself.

3) Satyricon - Mother North (Video)

The further I go down the rabbit hole, the more music videos I see that make me question my sanity. Case in point is a dark offering from Norway’s own Satyricon: normally Black Metal music videos are dark, brooding, and full of evil (Most of them anyway). You’ve definitely got that here in Mother North, and it’s definitely creepy & weird....but I can’t take things in the video seriously! I don’t know if it’s just me, but it’s almost like Troma Entertainment were hired by Satyricon to help them make a video, and it shows. From the rather low video quality, to the incredibly cheap makeup, costumes, and effects, it’s easy to see why Mother Morth is so laughable! What ramps up the weird factor is the surprisingly good audio quality. It’s actually surprisingly good, and given that Black Metal isn’t necessarily known for good audio, that’s saying something!

2) Ministry - Twilight Zone (Video)

Another relatively recent music video (It came out on the 27th of February), I confess that this one is high on the list for personal reasons, but I won’t get into that here. I will say out of everything on AmeriKKKant, Twilight Zone is the only song that has some kind of indirect nature. Maybe not that much, but it’s there. Taking the words of Donald Trump, Al Jourgenson & the rest of Ministry paint a warped scene within the song & accompanying video, and one that’s highly reminiscent of the show that’s referenced. Thanks to guest musicians Lord of the Cello & DJ Swamp, the eerie factor is raised quite high, and in the first 2 minutes before the vocals kick in, I can’t deny the fact that I was quite creeped out. To balance out the sinister vibes, Al Jourgensen laces the video & song with a little bit of humor, and the ending result is easily one of the weirdest things out there!

1) Turmion Kätilöt - Dance Panique (Video)

Trust story: this video came out the beginning day of Genericon 2017. Mere hours before it actually started, in fact. Out of the blue, I decided to download it. As it was downloading, I was doing some finishing touches to my first Hentai Comedies Worth Watching panel I was hosting, and I thought to myself “Why not show it before I actually start the panel?” I showed it to the crowd (It was packed in my first version, btw), and it’s since become a staple of the panel.....and why the hell not!?

To be honest, Dance Panique might very well be the most clever video Turmion Kätilöt has ever made. Taking the fighting game formula, and applying it to an industrial club & dancing, is kind of smart & funny.....but it’s so incredibly weird! We get a guy coming into the club for the first time, and he’s got that look on his face like he’s seeing a girl naked. He bumbs into another club goer....who happens to be wearing a panda mask....spilling his drink. The panda guy is annoyed by this, and challenges our hero to a dance off, and of course our hero wins. It only gets weirder from here.

So our hero tries to talk it up with 3 ladies, all the while scenes of the club & it’s various patrons play on in between. Afterwards, some weird old guy shows up, apparently upset at our hero for some reason, and another dance off ensues. This one’s wackier than the last, complete with the old guy trying to wizz on him, and our hero stuffing his hand in his mouth to sicken his opponent. It works, and our hero wins again!

After that, it’s off to the bathroom, and he’s congratulated by a random patron......just before he accidentally pees on the foot of Jesus......I’m not kidding: Jesus is in the next stall. Of course he challenges our hero to a dance battle, but in a twist, he Jesus actually manages to knock our hero out. Luckily, he gets a boost from one of the female patrons, and he then enters “Panique Mode”, which is basically some kind of frenzied mode. Him & Jesus square off one last time, and he manages to defeat his divine foe by making his head explode into sparkles.....Turmion Kätilöt everybody!

So this was a third look at some of the weirdest music videos. Again, it’s been a while since the last time I did one of these, so I’m sorry for the wait. Anyways, I got more comedic material next week, where I’ll be taking a look at a series that all too self aware. See you then!

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If you’re curious about what was on the first two lists were, check out the links below.

Top 5 Weirdest Music Videos (Part 1)

Top 5 Weirdest Music Videos (Part 2)