Monday, January 25, 2021

The Top 10 Songs That Make Me Cry

 
Time for one last round of tears fellow Otaku & Metalheads.

We’ve gone through the movie scenes that make me cry, along with the moment from my personal television history that turn on the waterworks. Today, I’m finishing up this month of cleansing with the 10 songs that make me cry, and let me tell you that this was the toughest out of all the lists to make. Given how much music I’ve listened to (Metal & Otherwise), going through the audio sea before me was a daunting task. However, I managed to pull through, and picked what I consider to be the definitive songs that turn my eyes into Niagra Falls. Some are going to be surprises, while others are going to be seen coming from a mile away (Especially if you know me well). So, with that said, here are the top 10 songs that make me cry.......let’s begin.

10)  Emerson, Lake and Palmer - Father Christmas (Song)
- We begin the list with a rather odd pick, and in the minds of some people I can understand. Emerson, Lake & Palmer are one of the most iconic Progressive/Art Rock groups, so to see them release a Christmas song was probably odd. This is even more odd when you actually listen to it: as it plays there’s something you pick up, and you’re not quite sure what it is at first. It’s not until you finish it that you finally realize......this is a very cynical song. It’s not mean or nasty in any way, but many of the lyrical choices come across as bitter. Almost as if the band felt betrayed by something during the holiday season. I think that’s why this song makes me cry: a genuinely wonderful time of the year that has a streak of black sewn into it. On the other hand.....

9) Majestica - The Joy of Christmas (Song)
- Much like U.D.O. & Iron Savior, the over the top nature of Tommy Johansson’s resurrected band was needed to heals the wounds from the plague ridden year that was 2020. However, I think fans of Majestica had no clue that this healing wave would come in the form of a retelling of the classic Holiday story, A Christmas Carol. The whole album, as I stated in my top 5 albums of 2020, is absolutely fantastic. Taking a timeless story, and saturating it in bells, holly, and Power Metal just makes it that much more heartwarming & joyous. However, it’s the song that’s in the middle of the album that really hits me. The Joy of Christmas is a genuinely beautiful song, and for half of the tune it’s not even a metal track! The first half is a stunning mix of piano & orchestra, complete with chimes that sound like icicles being tapped, and this makes it all the better when the guitars kick in. When they show up, that’s when the flood of the Holiday season comes rushing at you.....and you can’t help but cry when you’re hit.

8) Ernest - Gee I'm Glad It's Raining (Song)
- I talked about this in my first list this month (Read here if you haven’t yet), but in that one I talked about the scene. This time around I want to talk about the music, and to be honest there really isn’t all that much. It’s just some gentle rain in the background, and a simple keyboard playing throughout the whole thing (Along with some other instruments toward the end I can’t tell). Perhaps the most striking thing is Jim Varney’s voice, as his singing comes across as a little crackly, but it’s the emotional weight emanating from him that really seals the deal. Ernest 99% of the time is an idiotic, happy-go-lucky, yet genuinely kind person that just wants to do the right thing for the people he meets. So to see him so genuinely broken is incredibly tragic, and this song perfectly captures that feeling of defeat. It’s enough to make a grown person cry.

7) Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze - Funky Waters (Amiss Abyss)(Song) & One Must Fall 2097 - End (Song)
- Sometimes it’s not just normal music that stirs the emotions in people. Game Music has just as much capability of conjuring a variety of feelings as anything you’d hear on a CD or the radio, and these two tracks bring out the tears in me. It’s funny, because I’ve never played Tropical Freeze, but watched a bunch of gameplay. For whatever reason, the music that’s played in Amiss Abyss brings in the nostalgia tears really hard for some reason. It harkens back to a much simpler time for me. A time where I was much happier, and I didn’t have to worry about things. Same with the ending song for a game that I have played! One Must Fall 2097, as I stated ages ago, is my number 1 video game of all time. The memory of getting in when I was so young left an incredible impression on me, and strangely enough the ending song is the tune to get me to cry. When you’ve defeated the main bad guy, this tracks plays. It’s an odd mix of triumphant victory, yet this creeping sensation that perhaps something is off. Like that you may have defeated evil, but there’s something still lingering around. It’s that duality that can make me crack once in a while, and if you’ve played OMF yourself, it might for you as well.

6) The Colbert Report - Goodbye Song (Song)
- Like I stated in the middle of the month, the final episode of The Colbert Report was sad. Not because of the atmosphere, cause it was anything but sad. It was sad because, for one final time on Comedy Central, Stephen Colbert showed that he was one of the funniest people around. However, perhaps the most tender moment of the episode is the recreation of the musical number We’ll Meet Again. Bring back all of the guests he’s had on the show (Or as many as he could), they sing the song that’s equally comforting & sad. Yeah, we’ll meet again, but when? That’s the definitive question as the tune goes on. All that was needed was piano & everybody’s voice. Not much else to say.....other than we’ll meet again next month.

5) Type-O Negative - World Coming Down (Song)
- I still stand by that World Coming Down is the darkest metal album ever made. The late 90s was the worst time in Pete Steele’s life: family dying, an ex girlfriend passing away, drug & alcohol addiction get worse with each day, and depression both biological & psychological is the worst mix imaginable for anybody. I think this is best summed up on the record’s title track: this 11 minute funeral dirge perfectly encapsulates what Pete was feeling. He hit rock bottom, and he hit it hard. There’s no light, merriment, or any of that dry humor he was known for. This is the very incarnation of defeat, as the instrumentation is played as slow as a funeral march, and the vocal work sounds like a choir of sadness. Despite the sadness it creates in me, it manages to be one of the reasons why I like World Coming Down (The album & the song). Yes, it’s a slap of tragedy across the cheek, but at the same time is an incredible piece of audio art that everyone should experience at least once. Just be sure to have a tissue nearby if you do.

4) Nostalgia Critic - F**king Love Christmas (Song)
- I think it’s a safe best to say that the Nostalgia Critic is a joke at this point. Over the years since his return, he’s becomes slowly less funny & entertaining, and thanks to the illuminating ChangeTheChannel document, it’s apparent that he doesn’t know what he’s doing most of the time & has lost a lot of his power. However, during this descent he still had some funny moments, and this one came out of nowhere! In a way it’s almost hard to describe, since it’s pure Holiday chaos from beginning to end. Even the Critic himself is all over, as his outfit & makeup is what happens when you shove a Christmas tree into the number 5 reactor at Chernobyl. However, despite all of this chaos, there’s a considerable amount of heart as well. It’s obvious that Doug Walker loves the holidays. Each & every year he seems to top himself in terms of his December content, and I think this song is the pinnacle of that. It’ll also make you cry from laughing so hard as well!

3) Ministry - LiesLiesLies (Song)
- Now here we get to the really personal songs. The songs that truly get me to cry, and for starters we have a tune from a time that was incredibly devastating for me & my Dad’s side of the family. I’ve talked numerous times about the tragic death of my Uncle Randy, so I won’t get into it here. Ironically, the song that ultimately helped me during that time I found out a month beforehand. Kinda like what’s at my number 2, I definitely enjoyed it, but for whatever reason I put LiesLiesLies in the back of my head. Not only that, but for the longest time I thought it was about general lies of the Bush administration. When I found out that it was about 9/11 conspiracy theories, it became a tiny bit hokey to me. None the less, I still cry up once in a while when I listen to this song. Though I moved on from my Uncle’s death, I do admit I go back there once in a while.....and this track is always there waiting for me.

2) Sodom - Body Parts (Song)
- Last year marked the 5 year anniversary of my Mother going into the hospital for Diverticulitis, and the 5 year anniversary that I discovered what I can only describe.....as audio Splatterpunk. Much like LiesLiesLies, I found Body Parts a month before it’s energy was needed. I was still getting adjusted to Death Metal in 2015, so in a way this helped with that adjustment. However, it’s significance comes with being a bloodsoaked security blanket for me during the week Mom was in the hospital. The whole album is absolutely brutal, but Body Parts opens it up to perhaps some of the most graphic imagery that Tapping The Vein creates. You’re given the scene of the scariest hospital that’s ever existed, and what happens inside is better left not talked about. However, it was the horrific possibility that my Mom wasn’t coming back that made the vision of this song so brutal. The only reason this is my number 2 is that on rare occasions I don’t cry during this song.....unlike what’s at my number one.

Now before we get to my number 1, I wanted to talk about some honorable mentions. The incoming tracks are certainly something. Don’t get me wrong, they’re not bad! These 2 songs are wonderful in their own right, but for whatever reason they don’t quite pull my emotional heartstrings as hard as everything else on here. With that out of the way, here are the honorable mention tunes that get me to cry.

HM1) Everfrost - A Whisper In A Frozen Tale (Song)
- I said this in my review for Winterider, and I will repeat myself again. This song is too long! At 15 minutes it’s unnecessarily big, and drags out the end of the album. That being said, it’s a hell of a tearjerker! I won’t get into story specifics, but suffice it to say if you were rooting for the characters......yeah. Weirdly enough the song is split into 3 different sections, each with their own sound & feel. They’re all really well done, but because of the length of the total package they can be just a bit annoying. I know I cry during this song when I stop at the track just before it...just to not hear those notes of tragedy that come afterwards.

HM2) Led Zeppelin - All Of My Love (Song)
- I wouldn’t exactly say that this song makes me cry, and given the circumstances that lead to this song’s creation that’s saying something. Losing your child (In this case, Robert Plant losing his son) is the most devastating thing a parent can go through, and you can certainly feel his pain in this tune. However, the reason I don’t cry is that All Of My Love is that it’s an oddly life-affirming song at the same time. Yes, losing a loved one is a brutal experience, but just because they pass away doesn’t mean you never stop loving them. You’ll always have the good times with them, and it’s the energy of those times that keeps you moving! Because of that, All Of My Love doesn’t make me cry....but it does tug at the heartstrings.

1) Sabaton - Inmate 4859 (Song)
- Every time....I cry when this song plays. Every time I hear the first 10 seconds.....I cry. Make no mistake, the actions of Witold Pilecki is nothing short of insane & courageous, and Sabaton treats this Polish hero with nothing but incredible respect. However, the tale of this incredible man is one of the most tragic things you’ll ever hear. Voluntarily going into Auschwitz is madness, and while the track never goes into specific details, it obvious that he went straight into hell & came out with scars. I don’t think there’s ever been a time where Inmate 4859 didn’t make me cry.....and I don’t think it’s ever gonna not make me cry.

And those were my top 10 songs that make me cry. Last year was hell. Pure, unadulterated hell. Though there was a little good that happened in 2020, it was almost buried by how absolute garbage everything else was. With this last bit of cleansing done, I’m hoping that I can continue through 2021 with a fresher & more positive outlook on things. Next up is February, and the first of 2 Metal Overview posts are coming. See you soon!

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