Monday, July 20, 2015

Commentary - Leaked WWE Announcer Guidelines

Hey there fellow Otaku & Metalheads!

I promise, I’ll be putting up anime/metal reviews shortly, but the subject of today’s post is something I’ve been wanting to talk about since I heard about a week or so ago. You might recall that I reviewed Wrestlemania 31 a few months ago. If any of you didn’t read it, let me give you my basic overall opinion: it was good. It definitely had some dents in it’s armor, but there were enough fun moments that I can’t fully complain about it either. Same for Raw the day after: There was some tarnish, but there was plenty of great moments to watch as well!

However, there’s one thing I think we can agree on: the announce team sucks! Whether it’s during one of WWE’s events, or on Raw or Smackdown, I think we want to shove nails into our ear canals! They go on & on, spouting nonsense that doesn’t pertain to the match, or in the worst case scenario, not even paying attention to the match, In recent memory, it has become increasingly insufferable, and sometimes we can’t even watch because JBL, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and Booker T keep opening their mouths! A lot of WWE fans are wondering “What the hell is wrong with these people!?” Well, new information that’s recently come to light may very well finally explain why. So let’s take a look.

Here’s a quick background: around the start of the months, a series of guidelines were leaked on the wrestling portion of Reddit, Squared Circle, by user King Joddah. A series of 9 pictures, the images contained within were that of the guidelines that WWE announcers are to follow during shows & special events. What’s most interesting is how old these guidelines are, as apparently they’re dated from 2008, 2009, and 2010, making them rather dated. Despite their age, their effect’s are still felt today. Now we can take a look, and we’ll start with page 1.
As you can see, page 1 contains a lot of common sense. Use your owns words, be professional, keep notes on the wrestlers (And keep them up to date), etc. It’s all stuff you’d expect to find in the WWE, along with things you’d find in any other business. No problem here. Onto page 2!
Here’s where things begins to get......weird. The first half of it still contains things that make sense, like from the 1st page (Don’t use certain words, etc). It’s the “Don’t’s” section where the strangeness begins. No swearing, okay I get that. Don’t call blood, alright. Don’t say XXX has been busted open? Now that’s beginning to push things in an odd direction. It’s going to get weird people, so let’s examine page 3.

Now the insanity begins!

The top of the page is actually okay. Watch how you weave words, and keep an eye on the images in the monitor. It when it gets to the “Words to Avoid” section that I found myself scratching my head. Here’s just a sample of the words announcers can’t use (And what’s to be used instead):

Belt/Strap (Championships/Titles)
House Show (Live Event)
Pro-Wrestling/Pro-Wrestler (Superstar/Star/Athlete)
International (Global)

This is outright bizarre on many levels. It gets even weirder when it gets to the “Recent Additions” section (All from Vince, apparently). One of these additions actually scared me a little, and here it is:

“Please do not use the term “Sport Entertainment”. Going forward please use “Entertainment” in place.”

Let’s just get to page 4.

A little bit of normality returns on this page. Describe the arena’s environment, ask questions, and avoid cliches. It’s the section titled “Pronouns” that is simply mind-numbing, with the first line being “Do not use pronouns”. There goes a portion of the English language, but to be fair, the alternatives the guidelines describe mark sense in a way. Time for page 5.

Here we come to a page that’s simultaneously the most normal & the strangest part of the guidelines. Titled “Embellish”, it’s a list of tips that announcers follow to amp up what’s going on. I get this: announcers are always supposed to have energy in their words & actions, and this is just common sense. That said, there may be too much common sense. Pretty much all of what’s said here is something that the announcers should know about, and the fact that it’s all repeated here is worrisome. Page 6!

Page 6 is a two-way split, between “Announcer Intensity” & “Layout”. Announcer Intensity is all about how the announcers should use the energy they have when commentating about the in-ring action (And perhaps behind-the-scenes stuff as well) Layout is much in the same vein, although perhaps slightly more descriptive. Once again, this is all common sense stuff, as the announcers should already know this. It’s by this point that this was put in only so Vince could be condescending, and he can continue to have a tyrannical grip on his company. Let’s look at page 7.

Nothing’s necessarily special about page 7. An extension of the “Layout” portion from the previous page , it carries that section’s common sense rules & such. Another line that made me scratch my head was one at the top: “Tell Stories - This is the most important aspect of your job!”...don’t they do this already!? Okay, onto page 8!

Finally, this is the last page of the leaked notes. I’m really starting to repeat myself here: every single line is something you’d expect the announcers to already know! Two lines, however, legitimately intrigued me:

Announcers are not the stars”. Makes sense (Although Jim Ross might have an issues)

We are always learning”. I don’t think Vince is always learning.

So this concludes my commentary on the leaked WWE Announcer Guidelines. We can we learn from this? That WWE is nuts! There’s definitely plenty of parts all throughout this that makes perfect sense. However, we can also see the evisceration an important part of the show. Yeah, we might pick on them now, but throughout wrestling’s history, the announcers have often added more flavor to a match or segment. If you hate how the announcing is now, then e-mail World Wrestling Entertainment! Even if they don’t listen, enough messages might convince them to change!

See you all soon, when the reviews will be back in full swing!


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Apologies for putting this up late. Was getting some housework done throughout the day, and this one took a little more time to type up. Hope you don’t mind!!

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