Metal Overview - Turmion Kätilöt

Hello, fellow Otaku & Metal Heads!!!!

Well, it’s summertime, and you know what that means? Beaches, barbeques, and parties! Yes, as the heat comes down, we seek shelter with the company of others, and just have a fun time all around! If there’s music involved, you can be sure that dancing isn’t far behind. As the summer conventions come around, the raves appear, the tunes are blaring, and those within are taken to a world that few would understand.

Today’s Metal Overview covers a band that you’d hear in just such a rave. Well, maybe over in Europe. Over here in the states, this Finnish Industrial group only gets recognition from fans who are in the know. Despite having a smaller discography than some other metal bands, the energy within them will get your body moving, and you mind grooving to the beat. Although this may be quick overview, once you begin listening to this band, you won’t want to stop! Without further delay, here’s my overview of the fast & electronic Turmion Kätilöt. Get dancing!

Hoitovirhe (2004)

And so kicks off Turmion Kätilöt’s industrial-fueled discography. Released on May 24, 2004, Hoitovirhe is the band’s first official album release (They released an EP, Niuva 20,  beforehand). Created by just two guys (MC Raaka Pee: aka Petja Turunen &  DJ Vastapallo: aka Lassi Kauppinen, who would soon recruit 3 other members for their live shows), Hoitovirhe is an assault on the ears, coming at you furiously with both heavy metal riffage, and industrial beats & sounds in equal measure! Never once does this album stray off course in this regard, as headbangers & rave-goers can find something to like on this record.

Best track......easily, that honor goes to Teurastaja (Butcher)! The opening track of this album, Teurastaja has a fantastic beat that never misses a step, great industrial effects, and the instrumentation straddles the line between metal & dance perfectly. MC Raaka Pee’s is great here also, and while I can’t understand Suomi, I can tell that he bring’s a great intensity to the song, and it never once wavers in anyway!

Teurastaja

Worst track, nothing! Hoitovirhe, a perfect record to start a career! Recommended to metalheads & dance fans equally! Next album!

Pirun Nyrkki (2006)

With Hoitovirhe fresh off the press, Turmion Kätilöt did touring throughout Europe, and come 2005, began work on their second album. So, on March 29th 2006, the band release Pirun Nyrkki (Piru’s Fist) under Spinefarm Records (An independent business unit of Universal Music Group). Pirun Nyrkki continues Hoitovirhe’s attitude, but with a bigger dose of heaviness put into the mix. The industrial aspect is still present throughout the whole album, but in a couple circumstances it takes up more of a supplementary role, creating a record that’s slightly uneven in terms of feel. Ironic, give that Pirun Nyrkki got to number 7 on the Finnish Music Charts (To compare, Hoitovirhe was at number 28).

Best track is a tie, between the horror movie inspired title track, and Tirehtööri, or Ringmaster. The band put in some Middle Eastern sound effects & beats, giving the song something of an exotic aura. I would laugh if I ever went to a club in Dubai, and this track would be played by the DJ. Definitely one of their best!

Tirehtööri

Worst track....once again, there’s no bad tracks on here. Even the small soundscape-like tracks provide to the atmosphere of the record. Pirun Nyrkki, an even stronger Turmion Kätilöt release! You put this on at a rave, and you’re probably gonna get people moving. Next album!

U.S.C.H! (2008/2009)

Shortly after the release of their second album, troubles rose between Turmion Kätilöt and Spinefarm Records, with the dispute being over the band’s income. They eventually filed a lawsuit against Spinefarm (On March 9th, 2009, the lawsuit was settled, but terms stated that the band couldn’t talk about it any further), but that didn’t stop them from making some great music, and on June 11, 2008, U.S.C.H! was put out for free on the internet to download, with a physical release on May 20th, 2009 with bonus tracks. Eventually, U.S.C.H! would claim number 6 on the Finnish Music Charts, tied only with their next album, Perstechnique.

U.S.C.H! (Ultimate Synthetic Corrosion Helter-Skelter) is perhaps Turmion Kätilöt most strongest album to date. Going back to the attitude of Hoitovirhe, the band ramps up the heavy metal & industrial sounds, and creates an album that never lets go of you. Even after you’ve taken off the headphones, or pulled out the earbuds, the beat & rhythm of the songs will still be echoing in your head! Not many modern metal albums, industrial or not, can pull this off.

Picking the best track off of U.S.C.H! is a bit of a difficult task. With the highly notable exception of one track, everything on here is good. From Pakanamaan Kartta (Map of Pagan Land) to Minä Määrään (I Rule), there is no song on U.S.C.H! that’s terrible. My personal favorite, ironically enough, comes from the physical release of the album, Million Dollar Business. Directed towards Spinefarm Records, Million Dollar Business is the kind of song you listen to when a business tries to screw with you! With lyrics that burn pride, aggressive singing, and furious instrumentation, you can’t go wrong with Million Dollar Business!

Million Dollar Business

Shockingly enough, the worst track off of U.S.C.H! happens to be the title track itself! U.S.C.H! shares a similar quality with the classic Bohemian Rhapsody from Queen: both songs have lyrics that are just made-up nonsense. Whereas Bohemian Rhapsody goes in a more lighthearted direction, U.S.C.H!'s lyrics come across as bizarre or creepy. Strangely enough, it doesn’t go into Sehnsucht levels of creepy, which is a weird relief for me. 

U.S.C.H!

U.S.C.H! is perhaps one of the best Industrial Metal releases of the 2000s. You are committing a grevious sin by not buying or downloading this record. Next album!

Perstechnique (2011)

For me at least, Turmion Kätilöt’s 4th album, Perstechnique, is their first bump in the road. Released on February 23, 2011, Perstechnique tied with U.S.C.H! at the number 6 spot on the Finnish Music Charts, but I don’t get it. I’m not say it’s bad at all. Far from it, it’s actually one of their better album. However, I don’t think it deserves the number 6 spot. For whatever reason, I’ve never been able to get behind this album. Maybe it because it sounds a little too much like U.S.C.H!, maybe it didn’t have as much ferocity put in, I’m not sure. Point is, I consider Perstechnique to be their least impressive album, not to mention my least favorite.

While there really aren’t any “Best Tracks” on this record, I do have one favorite in the form of the releases’s opening song, Grand Ball. Somewhat similar to the song U.S.C.H! in terms of nonsensical lyrics, for whatever reason is just works with this one. Maybe it’s because it’s trying to be a little funnier, who knows?

Grand Ball

I really can’t pick anything bad off of this album. Like I said above, Turmion Kätilöt’s 4th release is my least favorite. Perstechnique, recommended for hardcore Turmion Kätilöt fans only. Next album!

Technodiktator (2013)

By the end of 2012, disaster struck Turmion Kätilöt. On December 7, 2012, lead vocalist Petja Turunen suffered a stroke. Minor, but a stroke regardless. This caused the band to go on a small hiatus, but it would be short. On January 22, 2013 it was announced that a new album would come out in the fall, on April 4th a single was released (Jalopiina). Finally, on September 27, 2013, Technodiktator was put out into the world for all to hear. Reaching number 4 on the Finnish Music Chats, Technodiktator is Turmion Kätilöt’s strongest album they’ve released. Even stronger than U.S.C.H!, and that was a great album! Dedicated to the dance musicians of the 90s, Technodiktator’s songs have some of the best rhythm, sounds, and beats that Turmion Kätilöt have put down to date!

Best track.....appalling difficult to select. Pretty much every song on Technodiktator is great. From the opening track Silmät Sumeat (Blurry Eyes) all the way to the album’s second to last song Beibe (Gold), you will not find a better selection of Industrial Metal out there at this moment! My favorite track, however, would have to be Pyhä Maa, or Holy Land. I find myself coming back to this track constantly: fantastic beats, great vocal work, and some of the heaviest riff work that Turmion Kätilöt has laid down!

Pyhä Maa

As for the worst track off of Technodiktator, I immediately direct your attention towards To Be Continued Act 1. A downright confusing song name, To Be Continued Act 1 is the band’s longest song to date at 12 minutes & 32 seconds. This length really damages an otherwise excellent album, as it feels too drawn out. Maybe bring it down to the 6 minute range, and you might have something.

To Be Continued Act 1

Technodiktator. My absolute favorite Turmion Kätilöt album of all time! It’s their best produced, best sounding, and most heaviest of their records. Put it on at a rave, or blare it at a metal concert, and you can’t tell me that even 1 person wouldn’t start moving.

Diskovibrator (2015)*

Technodiktator, as great as it was, left some fans worried. Some stated that the more dance/electronic direction the band took deviated a little from their Industrial Metal past. However, those fears were put to rest once Diskovibrator came out. Released on September 25th, 2015, Diskovibrator was a return to their industrial roots from earlier in their career, while retaining some of their dance/electronic styings from their previous release. Diskovibrator also happens to be their highest charting album of all time, staying at No. 1 on the Finnish Music Charts for 3 weeks. The album certainly deserves it! Taking the strengths of Technodiktator, and giving it a good jolt, this record practically defines Industrial Metal. The dance/electronic aspects don't overwhelm the metal side of things, while the metal side is unrelenting yet isn't necessarily afraid to share the spotlight. In short, an even mix!

Best Track? Well, like Technodiktator, picking a good song is difficult. The quality that went into putting this album out is impressive, with songs like Kirottujen Karnevaalit (Damned Carnival) & Lataa Ja Varmista (Lock & Load) showing off the band's strengths. This time things were slightly easier, and ultimately decided that Vastanaineet (Newlyweds), the 8th track of the album, as the best song on this release. Definitely one of the speedier tracks on Diskovibrator, it's also strangely quite steady as it goes on. You wouldn't necessarily expect this, given how some parts sound. Regardless, Vastanaineet is a song you shouldn't miss!

Vastanaineet

Worst Track? To Be Continued Act 2 immediately comes to mind. In a strange way, I don't dislike it as much as it's counterpart over on Technodiktator. For one thing, this track is 7 minutes & 44 seconds long. 4 or 5 something minutes shorter than it's companion. The shorter length makes it not quite as unbearable to listen to, but sadly it still suffers much of the same problems as Act 1 had. Not quite as awful, but still not that great.

To Be Continued Act 2

Diskovibrator. A little lop-sided with it's style, but overall a good album. If you like this band a little more on the Industrial side of things, and not quite as focused on the dance/electronica aspects, you might want to seek this one out. Next album!

Dance Panique (2017)**

True story: I didn't even know that the band was putting out a new album this year. Given that they're a Finnish group, finding information about them here in the United States is difficult at best. However, leave it to the denizens of Youtube to provide metallic offerings, as by early January of 2017 there were 2 preview tracks (Surutulitus & Itämaan Tietäjä) released to the public, and a few weeks later I believe there were 1 or 2 more put out, and earlier this month, Dance Panique was released. How ironic that Dance Panique came out in March, as it's been about a decade since I was introduced to this band. Regardless, this album is fantastic! Whereas Technodiktator seemed to rely a little more on the dance/electronica components, and Diskovibrator didn't completely combine both sides, Dance Panique comes across as highly reminiscent of the band's earliest material, but with a dance/electronica edge that blends seamlessly with the Heavy Metal. Listening to Dance Panique almost came across like listening to Hoitovirhe & Pirun Nyrkki all over again, and I'm sure a lot of fans of Turmion Kätilöt will agree.

Best Track? Look, the whole album is fantastic. From top to bottom you're given what might very well be the best Industrial Metal experience of 2017 so far! However, I simply have to talk about the title track. Dear god, this song is magnificent! If there was any song on this album that showed off how well the dance/electronica & Industrial Metal sides were mixed, it would be this song. Driving beats, growling & raspy vocals, surprisingly seamless rhythm, and coupled with the outrageous music video, makes Dance Panique a song that's definitely unforgettable.

Dance Panique

Worst Track? Nothing at all! This is Turmion Kätilöt's most perfect record in a long time. Even To Be Continued Act 3 isn't terrible, as it now sounds, flows, and feels like an actual song than just a collection of noise. I cannot think of a single bad thing about Dance Panique, and neither should you!

Dance Panique. Quite possibly beating Technodiktator as my favorite album of all time. Turmion Kätilöt, if you manage to keep this up for another decade, then you'll probably see me liking your music then as well. A damn fine record, and a contender for my Top 5 Albums of 2017. Definitely recommended!

Universal Satan (2018) ***

Though Dance Panique was a phenomenal release last year, there was one issue before it's release that managed to catch my attention, and that was the leaving of longtime singer Spellgoth in January of 2017 (2 Months before DP ironically enough). Apparently this had been talked about for a while within the band, and while he no longer has a presence on stage, he's still Turmion Kätilöt's graphic designer. Upon his departure, the search was on for a singer who could theoretically fill his 13-year shoes, and in August of that same year, the band managed to find a singer in the form of the ridiculously named Shag-U. Once he was in the singer's seat, the band began work on a new release to test his skills. So the band put their noses to the grindstone, and on the 14th of September of this year, Universal Satan revealed itself to the world.

I don't know how it did it, but somehow.....someway......this album managed to become stronger than Technodiktator. Stronger than Diskovibrator. Hell, it even managed to be a stronger record than Dance Panique. Barely, but it did, and I'm not exactly sure why. If I had to make a guess as to how it was able to accomplish such a task, I'd say it has to do with Shag-U's way of singing. With the might of Spellgoth, we strangely got someone that was simultaneously heavy & skilled at crafting his vocal work. With Shag-U? He throws any shreds of subtly out of the window, and sounds a little similar to Raaka Pee's way of putting his voice out. The end result is a band that's more brutal, industrial, and maybe even more violent than anything that's come before, and I kinda like it that way.

Best Track? Love Is Dead is just a sexy, visceral, and bloodthirsty song. Right away from the first few notes, it goes straight for your neck and doesn't let go until the final moment. A thunderous mix of guitars, drumming, and keyboarding, not to mention some excellent singing from MC Raaka Pee & Shag-U, the track knows exactly what it wants, and goes straight for it's desire. Love Is Dead also happens to be one of only 2 songs on Universal Satan of have completely English lyrics, with the other tracking being the fun & blasphemous Faster Than God. Simply put, Love Is Dead is a song your shouldn't skip under any circumstance!

Love Is Dead

Worst Track? While a phenomenal record from top to bottom, Universal Satan's only issue is with their new singer. Like I said earlier, Shag-U breaths new life into the band & is a force to be reckoned with. However, more often than not, he's a little too screechy with his vocal work. He's more certainly singing, but a lot of the time it sort of comes across like nails on a chalkboard. Whether this was intentional or not, I'm not sure. Point is, Shag-U's style of singing will be the only make or break point for potential listeners of Universal Satan. I managed to listen through it without trouble, and I think some of you might be able to as well.

Universal Satan. Potentially better than the last 3 albums they've made, it also doesn't lord itself over them in any way, and happily walks besides them. Absolutely recommended, and one of my definite favorite releases of 2018. Pick it up or download it if you can!

And thus concludes an overview on the Finnish Industrial titans, Turmion Kätilöt! Definitely quicker than my first two overview posts, and maybe not as in-depth, but I hope the substance of the music itself makes up for this. If you take a liking to this band, perhaps you’ll download a couple songs for your next party or rave, or maybe you’ll buy their CDs? Either way, you won’t be disappointed!

One final thing: Connecticon is later this week. I won’t have any album reviews or anime reviews until maybe late this month, but I will have a review for the con about perhaps 1 or 2 days afterwards. See you in the meantime!

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(Update 1): October 22, 2015/7:55 PM/Eastern Standard Time

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(Update 2) March 30, 2017/6:59 PM/Eastern Standard Time

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(Update 3) November 19, 2018/11:10 PM/Eastern Standard Time

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For a look into this band, click on the link below:

http://www.turmionkatilot.com/perstechnique1.html